My family is pretty good about bipolar. They could learn more but they have good basic information about bipolar. One of my sisters works in a mental hospital as a nurse, another has a son with bipolar. My sister, Lori, gives me a lot of support by calling frequently, weekly, and listening. She is the one I contact if I am in the hospital and she tells the rest of the family.

My mother blames almost anything that goes wrong in my life on bipolar when it is not always the case, but at least she doesn’t blame me for bipolar problems I also can’t have “good” days around her as she wonders if I am not in “too” good a mood.

My father tells people I am retired, instead of saying I am on disability. I don’t try to get any support from him.

When I grew up, calling people “crazy” was a way to discount their thoughts, actions, statements, or feelings. My mother still to this day blames all of the family problems on my “crazy” grandmother who has been dead for twenty years. My mother and father do not have to acknowledge their alcoholism and the damage it’s caused because my grandmother was “crazy.”

When I started standing up for my little sisters, I became the next “crazy” person. When I left home, my little sister became the next “crazy” person. I finally broke off contact to protect my daughter from the child molester. The family judgement was that he didn’t know what he was doing. Just for perspective.

I have noticed that many people who would never curse think it is fine to dismiss someone as “crazy.” Then if you actually have an episode or a chronic condition, it’s so easy for some family members to dismiss legitimate issues because you are “crazy.”

It drives me crazy (jk).

I believe family members understanding mental illness, setting healthy boundaries and accepting it as an illness (not an excuse)while being there to listen, is critical to the success of the all family members. Unfortunately I have not discovered how to help an adult child who can not accept that she too has illness, because she is too afraid to look in the mirror and accept that many of the distructive things that happen in her and her family’s life are in many ways her in her realm of responsibility.

Unfortunately, she even believes that her 8 year old daughter that has been molested, is better off ignoring it, rather than dealing with it.

My husband and his side of the family are all very wonderful and understand the best they can. They are helpful and provide support to the best of their ability.

Now, my family? Completely ignorant of the whole thing, don’t want to deal with it, I’m so moody, why am I in a bad mood, why am I laughing hysterically, etc. It blows my mind how ridiculous they are actually. I have BP friends that are more normal to me than my family. I don’t know what that means. After the last big family blow-up when I told everyone ’screw you’ and walked out, no one has called, e-mailed, sent a letter, sent smoke signals. What does a BP do when the entirety of one person is a trigger? It’s my mom.

My family tries to understand but has no clue what it’s like to be bipolar - they seem to think the problems are with my PERSONALITY, rather than my illness. I have dysphoric mania and I’m hypersensitive to criticism, quick to fly off the handle, and seem to them just to be mean-spirited and full of rage, when in reality I’m a pretty compassionate person with a good heart.

I feel like my family is impatient with me for not getting better, which causes me to get down on myself, and it just makes everything worse. I am not loved any less than anyone else in the family, but I am ALWAYS “the bad guy” when there’s a family blowout or some issue. I’M the problematic one, the black sheep, the thorn in everyone’s sides. And then I get resented because I get all the attention (like I somehow WANT everyone fussing over how “crazy” I am).

I’ve tried thinking of what my family could do to help, and all I can really come up with is for them to back the heck off! I believe they really do want to help, not only because they love me but also because my illness affects them. I just wish they’d consider that we all do the best we can at life. I’m doing the best I can! I’m in individual and group therapy, working hard at CBT, and trying to get stabilized with meds, but it’s difficult to treat for me because of dysphoric mania and rapid cycling, not to mention severe depressive episodes on the other end. But I really, honestly, am doing the very best I can do. We all are, right?

What does everyone else ask their families to do to help? Or are you kinda like me in just wanting everyone to give you some space?

The other posts combined w/ my own story makes me feel sad for all. My family, one by one, starting with my mother have all completely rejected me. I do not exist to them-it’s been five years. Now that I am doing great-be it meds, therapy, maturity, spirituality- it’s too late.
Like other posters say, I am the problem. My mother set the tone by giving up on me and encouraged me to commit suicide when I was at my bottom. I tried, failed. I suffered sooo much in my younger years-depression, emotional turmoil, I could not control my feelings-only now can I see how draining it is for those close to us. I think if we had a clue that this is/was an actual medical problem we might still know how to be a family instead of being cruelly judgmental and emotionally worn out. Even though I too cannot bear them, I hurt and ache for love and family just the same. Everyone is the sorrier for this saga.

I have longed for my family to include me. I have reached out to them but to no avail. I cannot understand and do not believe that I have done anything particularly hurtful or even acted crazy in any way that would embarass or endanger them, but they have frozen me out. My contact with them is minimal and revolves around my mother and her care (she is 91 and in poor health). No phone calls, no invitations - not out and out cruelty but it’s as if they are acquaintances - I see them maybe twice a year at most, however from what I’ve read above maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. I love my mom and so do they, but when she wants to tell me about her visits from and with them, it really upsets me - like a friend telling you all about a great party that you were deliberately not invited to except much worse. I don’t want to tell her that I don’t want to hear about it, but I think it’s going to be necessary. I’m happy for her - that she has their love, but when she says she’s seeing my sister or brother or my niece, I jokingly say: “Tell them “Hi” for me.” I don’t want to hear about their times together - their beautiful homes, what wonderful meals, etc. I mean they’re not directly cruel or mean to me but their almost complete absence in my life is cruel. I have a brother who has schizophrenia and he’s is treated the same way but it doesn’t seem to bother him. Once mom is gone I don’t want to have any further contact with them and I’m sure that I’ll never see them again. I think it will be a relief.