This is a real fear of persons with bipolar disorder. I know because I am one. This scenario (bipolar leading to divorce) has happened in my marriage too. My husband had to really think hard about whether he would stay or not. I’m glad he did stay. It is the worst fear of mine, not being worth loving. Being “worth it” is what I have struggled to prove to myself since I was in preschool. It is what drove all my interactions with friends, coworkers, family and lovers. The problem was that I just couldn’t see when I would change behaviors (from neutral to manic or depressive), and I couldn’t see when I was being extreme, at least until afterwards. Then I was not just sorry, but embarrassed and ashamed of my actions. I just wanted to run away and hide, or erase the tape - anything to not be the person who did those things. I felt a lot of pressure to overcompensate for these errors in my relationships just to be a good friend/wife/lover/family member/employee.
I knew it wasn’t this hard for other people, but I just couldn’t stop my extreme behaviors from popping up. Now that I have been diagnosed (when turning 40), I am exploring my options, including medication. It helps, but it has been difficult staying on any one for a length of time because of dangerous side effects.
Please, if you are in a relationship with a bipolar person, let them know they are “worth it”.

OMG, I’m so glad I found this web site. I have been reading for over an hour. Two years ago our son began dating a young girl (17) who was diagnosed with bipolar as a yount teenager. During their relationship, there would be times when she would get mad and throw his cell phone out the window (this happened several times) she would beat on him, use vulgarity and scream and yell him for the littlest thing. I’ve never witnessed anything before like this behavior in my life. Sarah become pregnant and our son, although there was a possibility that the child might not be his, he made the decision to marry her and we reluctantly supported his decision. During her pregnancy - she wasn’t on any medication and it was a living hell. It was like constantly walking on egg shells hoping that you wouldn’t say anything that might upset her. Praying to God that nobody else (at family functions) would kid with her or tease her - because you never knew - just because she laughed and was funny the last time - by no stretch of the imagination meant that she would be that way this time. As a result, family members basically ignored her for fear of her ‘going off’ and not caring who she cussed out or who it might offend, like my 72 and 81 year old parents.
The baby was born in 2007 and although he looks nothing like anyone on our side of the family (you know the thoughts were racing) no one said a word - because our son would be crushed. He joined the military and after boot camp they moved to the area where he is stationed. The first two months were great, we all thought this is just what they needed. Mainly to be away from her mom. Now the mother wont drive to rescue her everytime they have an argument and take her and the baby back home. This happened at least once a week. My husband and I went down to visit for a weekend it was the worst weekend I’ve ever spent anywhere - they knit picked each other -nothing that either of them did was right - constantly bickering and arguing. I was ready to come home, 20 minutes after we arrived. We stayed the weekend and suffered through all the yelling and cursing. When we got back home all I could think of was how in the world could anyone live in that type of home life. I honestly believe the first words my grandson will say is m—-r f—-r. I asked my son if she was taking her medication - he said sometimes. I tried to encourage him to convince her to continue, maybe even go back and ger re-evaluated. Since we visited she has called his command stating that our son is not taking care of she and the baby - now mind you since he graduated from boot camp, she has not had to work a day - not that she could hold down a job anyway - she has the blessing of being able to stay home. I have had to fax financial statements to three different commands proving to them that he is taking care of his responsibilities. When she doesn’t get the response she wants from one, she calls another. He has been pulled from certain high level responsibilities in order to take care of his family business, which turns out to be false. She finally decided to move she and the baby back home with mom/dad. While our son came home for a visit - she took a rental truck and moved practically everything out of the house they were renting. He’s sleeping on an air mattress right now. The final straw for him was when one evening he was lying on the mattress and he hears his car stop up outside - he gets up to go outside to see what’s going on - there she is in the vehicle getting ready to go out the driveway - our son runs across the yard and goes out to the highway thinking that she would stop - surely she wouldn’t run him over. Well she sure did - he ended up in the hospital - with major road rash. He now has a lawyer, is filing for a divorce and full custody of their son. The police have charged her with attempted man-slaughter. As a mother I’m sure you can sense my frustration, anger, hurt, and fear of what she’ll do next. I almost think he’d be safer if he was in Afghanistan. I know this is a horrible thing to say - but I want her our of our lives. I’m fearful she will be harmful to our grandchild and worse to herself. Right now he’s an angel, but what happens when the terrible 2’s hit. I know myself that children can raise emotions that you never thought you had. If she doesn’t get help, how will she handle it? Please, please help me to help - first of all my son, then to help her. Oh did I forget to tell you - she hates me. sla