Bipolar has deeply and profoundly expanded my compassion. Once my compassion was limited to only people I could identify with. Now I can find compassion with in my-self for every person and every creature. I am now able to share that compassionate perspective with others. In that state of compassion we both find peace more of mind.

Thank you for your insights and positive spin on this disorder! As Sarah who also responded to your article mentioned a positive effect Bipolar has had on her life is the expansion of her ability to feel compassion for all others. In this same vain, I appreciate such a more profound level of humility than I believe I ever would have evolved to otherwise. I can also speak to your experiencing a deeper relationship with your spouse because of it. I was the spouse with Bipolar Disorder and my husband was the one to hold out the helping hand so very often. Then a very unique thing occured. After 13 years of marriage, my husband learned of some missing portions of his childhood which lead to a break down and ultimately his being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder as well. Now, 5 years and an ocean of tears later, we’ve learned how to swim tandem as it were. We have the happiest, strongest marriage of anyone I’ve ever known. So what has Bipolar given me? The happiest, deepest, most unique marriage I could never have dreamed of.

Bipolar has broken my heart and stole my husband. I have yet to feel the compassion that is mentioned above. I, myself am dealing with anxiety which is under control with medication and my husband has bipolar disorder. During his manic state he is very mean and rude. He will put me down in front of strangers,friends and even family. I’m searching for ways to deal with this. I know that this is not him and I have to separate him from this condition, but it is so difficult when he is so mean to me. I try to tell him nicely and inform him of his actions but it’s no use, he becomes extremely defensive and somehow always seems to point the finger at me. He has the episodes about once a year. The highs always begin in September and last thru Christmas, which is his favorite time of year. Then shortly after Christmas he starts to decline and loose energy and hits rock bottom. When this happens he becomes so apologetic and so sad for how he’s treated me, but by this time I’m so upset and angry that I can’t even look at him. This has been going on for about 5 years, but he just started taking topamax for the firsst time. He was up to 200mg and he was enraged, and looked like a druggy. I don’t know if this is from this medication or not-still waiting for psychiatrist to call me back. We decided to go down to 100mg, but he is still at a very high energy level. If anyone out there could offer me help and guidance i really need it. I have mentioned divorce because I have been so hurt and my own quality of life has been greatly effected including my health. We have 4 daughters and I would hate to break their heart to have them come from a broken home. I also am unable to make love to my husband-feelings aren’t there. I feel like I’m with a stranger how could I feel sexually comfortable. Please anyone offer me some suggestions and let me know that what I’m feeling is normal. I’m trying to stick it out for my children’s sake. My husband and I are high school sweatheart and have been together for a very long time-I can’t imagine ever sharing all that I have shared with him with anyone else. So when you ask “what has bipolar done for me?” I will say it was broken me and hurt me. I need some guidance on how to deal with these episodes.

Misery;
I’m an isolationist, fear the mailbox, the telephone.
I don’t sleep, I don’t talk to people.
When I do go out I feel as though I’m watching a movie - I’m not part of the world.
My only motivation is to go to my weekly doctor’s appointment. He’s the only person I want to talk to.
My only comfort place is home and the hospital.
I had 18 treatments of ECT……..That was the biggest mistake I made. It robbed me of my life, and my memories. I WAS an Accountant, and now I cant do simple math.

what has bipolar disorder given me?
so many things.

wisdom. if not for bipolar disorder, i would never have ended up seeing my therapist. and then i would never have learned to think as i do, to understand myself and the world around me, and to make conscious choices about how i live.

i know now, more than ever before, that i can’t do life alone. i need a lot of what other people have to offer, and i have a lot to offer other people.

the experience has taught me a lot.

i think i see the world differently. afterall, who else has the opportunity to feel the heights and depths of human emotion, and reflect back on that!

I have bipolar and I have to say that it has given me a great deal. I must only have a mild case because I was able to use the manic episodes to my benefit during my education and at work and have not done too many bad things and was able to survive the depressive episodes. I was undiagnosed until I was 40 and have been on medication since then. I’m happier on the medication even though I miss the hypomania I usually had.

Gigi,
You are not alone, i am married to my husband for over 11 years now, together going on 15. While I have more empathy and compassion I too have a broken heart. Mine is a rapid cycler and use to go off and on his medicine for the 10 years he has been diagnosed–until last year when an affair came out (and other extreme hypersex behaviour)and he was hospitalized for first time and fINALLY I said no more.No meds, no therapy, no me and no kids. He started meds that night in hospital and has taken them everyday since. He was started on zyprexa (some need anti psych meds) and Lamictal. he now only has zyprexa if really needs it (maintenance) and takes 300mg of lamictal daily, but it is still going up in does (he is 5′11 and 260lbs)
He too is very rude, mean and seems like a stranger when manic. He is “classic BP” according to all drs. through out the years and every book i have read and site I have been on.
I too do not want a difference, but I am battered down and tired and always watching and checking. Its as if I can’t breathe for watching him.
Truthfully he is doing much better since dec of 2007, one year on the 14th; but I am depressive and sometimes think is it too liitle too late after toomuch? We have 3 kids, 16, 8, 6. and our oldest is waiting with bated breath to leave for college and never come back!
I hope you see my comment and realize you are not alone.
The following might help: My hubby cannot do any antidepressants, lithium works for him but has high blood pressure with a water pill so its out, he ’s been on depakote, paxil, wellbutrin, neurontin, carbapazime (spelling error), tegretol…um i cant remeber more now, but once in hospital the zyprexa was a MIRACLE drug. he must get 5-6 hours of sleep at minimum, no caffefine although he cheats on this. no hig amount of stress. therapy at least 2 times a month.
now is mean, he apologizes, he is sleeping, he is more financially responsible…umm… its hard for the rst of the family to see the “well hubby” instead of the sick one. I hope one day we will see, i am his biggest supporter, but i need support too.

Remember” the meds and therapy help manage an illness, not cure it. There will still be depressive phases and manicones, hopefully not severe and many can be nipped in the bud before bad, with help from med adjustments and therapy.

Good luck.
feel free to contact me lisa_hilton03@yahoo.com

oh yeah, it has given me 3 sparkly, dramatic, creative kids who also have enormous empathy for those who appear different or unwell!!