I am a mother of an 11 yr old boy who was dx w/ bipolar d/o 3 yrs ago. I have always tried to make everything about him but my spouse and 3 other children and myself are about over it. I know that I can not give up on my child but…I just dont like him most of the time, he is so hard to like. My son is being treated w/ depakote, tenex, clonidine, prozac, abilify (lots of weight gain w/ this one), and Vynase (ADHD). I have been reading up and I have found some articles stating that a bipolar child should not be treated w/ an antidepressant because it could cause mania. Any opinions on that one? He has ODD severely, ADHD, bipolar. He is not doing well in school and he makes himself vomit so he can leave school early. Anyone have ANY suggestions on what to do w/ this child. I know that “its” not about me but if I dont get some help, Im gonna flip out. Desperately seeking info Amanda

Amanda - Just a couple of thoughts. First, wondering if your son is in therapy, as well as on meds? If not, that might be helpful for him in learning to manage his behavior, to the extent he can. Family therapy might be helpful for the whole family, in learning how to manage your son’s illness, and give him the attention he requires and deserves, without letting it take over your lives.

Then, as far as his meds, your son seems to be on a lot of them, espescially considering they aren’t working all that well. Maybe it’s time to talk to his doctor about revamping his treatment plan, or even seek out a 2nd opinion.

I can’t pretend to know what you are going through Amanda because I haven’t been in that situation. I am closer to your son’s situation. I tried medications but they made me unable to take care of myself. And think from your son’s perspective of being 11 years old (which is an extremely stressful time because of puberty coming) and it is a time when we want to be accepted and begin to be interested in girls and then the weight gain which may be the result of the meds. I also brought a bit of havoc to my family. It wasn’t my intention, only my inappropriate behavior. But that’s the thing, my appropriateness wasn’t a concern. expression was my motivation. i was fortunate to have a piano which was like a self therapy, a place to work out my issues. today i make a living by playing piano. My point is that your son has a lot on his plate and the way he manages his life puts a lot on your plate. Medications are not a cure. everyone, your son included, needs a tool (mine was the piano, for others maybe a soccerball, watercolors or whatever) where they can learn a skill while contemplating and thereby express themselves. but each person must find which tool is best. that is my experience.

My sister has been diagnosed with Bipolar and has since had 2 espisodes of bipolar. She is very apprehnsive about even talking about bipolar when it comes up. I try to make it light and not be so pushy, by joking about what she did or daid, she remembers litlle or none of what she daid or did. I eant to help her but she get offended when I ask her if she takes her medicne. She also drinks on occasion so I know whe doesn’t take her medication properly is she at risk of having another episode?

Hi Lucy

Making light of it may not be the right way to go. Your sister is likely embarrased about her manic episode (or at least I know I am) and it is a fine line between laughing with someone or laughing at some one. Someone with mood disorders may not be able to tell the difference. And if she can not remember she may be mortified at what she did when manic. Reminding her of those times may make the pain worse.

As hard as it may be the decision to take medication is hers and hers alone. If she feels pressured she is more likely to quit taking them. It feels like an insult to be asked if you are taking medication. I’ve had some well meaning family members say that and my response internally is “what business is it of yours?” my external response is a polite ‘yes’

I imagine it is often tough for my family to know how to respond - sometimes I don’t know how to respond so how could they?

Just be there, do easy things like play cards or go to movies. As hard as it may be try not to judge. If you were in her shoes you would be doing the same things. Hopefully in time she will come to accept the diagnosis, remain med adherant, and quit drinking. Until then - tell her you love her.

Amanda, I want to respond to you, and I hope this is OK with the author, and other readers, as my comment will be ‘different’. Yet, I feel, now that I have read this article and the comments, that I ‘have to’ comment, and that it is my responsibility, and that I owe Amanda this much…and for her to just keep in the back of her mind. (So, take what’s useful and throw out the rest, please)

I was never married to my son’s father, but it appears that genetically, my son got a lot from his father. It became clear from an early age on, that H. had ADHD and he was put on stimulants and this helped a lot.

H. was a difficult child and like yours, Amanda, not only did i not like him very much much of the time, but nobody else does, either.
He really does not have any friends.

He is now almost 19 and has improved significantly.

So when he was about ten, H. got Tourette’s syndrome on top of the other, and our pediatrician referred us to a psychiatrist.

Just before we first saw the psychiatrist, H. had an episode of ‘night terrors’, and that scared me a lot.

So, this was the information we brought to the psychiatrist and also, that H. father had ongoing ADHD, and although he was never diagnosed with such, he was also surely bi-polar.

She (the doctor) asked if H. had any syptoms of OCD and I said ‘yes’. (although i did not feel they were interfering with his life) H. did seem depressed to me though.

So, the doc put him on Luvox, and then he continued on the stimulants, and Clonidine to help with sleep.

It really made a difference, the Luvox, and it helped so much.

(There is so much to tell, but i cannot say it all, Amanda)

Then things started getting bad again, and for the next 6 or so years, living in this family became torture. having to protect the little brother, and school problems, and then, I slowly had to accept, that h. was manic depressive, just like his father. it was so obvious at some point, I could no longer push this truth away. (The psychiatrist thought I was very slow…I do not)

For an entire year, we went from one mood stabilizer to the next, and if it weren’t for me, h. would surely be dead. he had severe adverse effects to many of these drugs, and this usually did not show right away but rather when the drug was working, like around day 10. Everything was horrible! it also seemed to me that h. became much more sensitive to adverse reactions, and became more allergic as he grew into a teenager.

Then, two years ago, a little over two years, an aduklt in the family called CSD, or DHS, because H’s brother had told him that H. acted sexually inappropriately, and one morning, I found the case manager banging on my door.

This case worker happened to be great. He really listened to me, and i told him H. was bi-polar, and all that, and one of the things he requested was that I sign a release so he can talk to the psychiatrist.

A day later, and without explanation whatsoever, the psychiatrist orders me to stop h’s Luvox, like in 3 days. He had been on this medicine now for about 6 years and I refused to stop it so abruptly, but otherwise complied.

This is the point of my story, here, and i am hardly stupid.

The moment I took my son off the luvox, his bi-polar illness was gone, and never again for even one moment has reappeared, it was the damn Luvox that cause my son’s manic depression.

I have the exact same symptoms that your husband has. I am 27 years old have only recently discovered that I might be bipolar (II). I have occasional hypomanic episodes (that usually last from a few hours or a few days). These generally don’t cause any problems for me, and actually help me sometimes, since I work in a field where creativity is everything.

However, I also also suffer from depression both in cycles and occasional depressive periods with chronic fatigue and anxiety, although my depressive symptoms are not too heavy. I have some social anxiety and in general have problems concentrating due to excessive thinking and anxiety. Most people wouldn’t think that there is anything wrong with me, and my family isn’t convinced either.

Since going through a breakup recently and moving countries, which has put me into a state of depression and anxiety worse than I have experienced before, I decided I needed a change and my Psychiatrist recommended that I check out Lamotrigine. It seems like the one medication for bipolar depression with the least side-effects (including low risk of hair loss and loss of sex drive, issues that I am concerned about as it is). I am also hopeful that besides helping my depression in the short term, the medication might be able to help me with some of the other issues that I have been fighting with since my teens.

Has your husband or has anyone else here with similar symptoms experienced improvement in depression, concentration, social anxiety and sex drive with Lamictal/Lamotrigine? And would you recommend giving Lamotrigine a try in my case, even though I have a pretty good chance of functioning (at least getting by) without the medication as I have done in the past?