When we wrote Bipolar Disorder For Dummies, we took some heat for the “irreverent humor” that is characteristic of the For Dummies® series. Some people felt that we went too far. They thought our irreverence crossed the border into the land of insensitivity. Two of our editors told us to soften it up. (In a few cases, we followed their advice.) A couple reviewers gave the book positive reviews and then qualified them by saying that our prose was likely to offend sensitive readers.

The fact is that we have loved ones with bipolar disorder, and we know it’s painful for everyone involved. Believe us, we have felt the sting ourselves. However, we’ve also found that most people with bipolar disorder and their loved ones have a healthy sense of humor – humor that has an edge to it. Maybe it’s because people with bipolar disorder tend to be smarter than the average Joe, or perhaps they’ve just had to deal with so much bad stuff in their lives that they need a moment to laugh. Maybe it’s because the situations they’re often exposed to give birth to funny things nobody else could ever conceive of.

My co-author, Joe, and his wife, Cecie, rely heavily on humor to relieve the tension and confront the absurdities often associated with bipolar disorder and its treatment. During one doctor’s appointment, Cecie was complaining about experiencing weight gain when she was on a combination of Lithium and Zyprexa. The doctor recommended adding topiramate (Topamax) to the mix, explaining that it could combat the weight gain, but that it could also carry the unpleasant side effect of slowed thinking. Joe turned to Cecie and said, “Oh, great, you have the choice of being fat or stupid.”

On it’s surface, that might come across as insensitive to some, but Joe said it in a half-joking tone that called attention to the absurd and often painful choices that people with bipolar disorder are often presented with – medications that treat the disorder but commonly cause dreadful side effects. We decided to add that bit of humor to the book. Some people didn’t think it was very funny, but most people “got it” and appreciated the fact that we had the audacity to poke fun at the painful truth.

No doubt about it, bipolar disorder can cause intense suffering. An “innocent little fling” triggered by mania can destroy marriages and friendships. Mania can drive people to spend or gamble away their family’s life savings… and then some. Both mania and depression can ruin a person’s career and place a huge financial burden on all involved. We are well aware of all the bad, ugly things that bipolar can do, but retaining a sense of humor through it all can help us tolerate the profound distress that we live with.

When we choose to laugh at bipolar disorder, we never intend to dismiss or diminish the significance of the real suffering it often causes to those who have the disorder and the people who love them. Nor do we want to include ourselves in the ranks of those who deliver “reassuring” platitudes, such as…

• You just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
• Take the good with the bad.

Or

• We all have our ups and downs.

We simply use humor as another weapon in our arsenal to disarm the disorder and acknowledge just how maddeningly ridiculous it can be. We even found humor in my name and profession – a shrink named Fink? Why that’s a perfect name for my Web site… let’s call it FinkShrink.com!

Humor helps us cope. It can defuse an escalating situation. It can make us more accepting of our own foibles and those of our loved ones. It can place some of the bad things that happen in perspective. It can help us appreciate the absurdity that surrounds us and some of the positive things that bipolar disorder brings into our lives – events and encounters we otherwise would never have had the opportunity to experience.

In Paradise Lost, John Milton writes, “The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven.” Humor enables us to make a heaven out of hell. It allows us to put painful episodes in our past and laugh about them, maybe not forgetting them but hopefully forgiving the pain they caused. It empowers us to take back our humanity and ourselves from the bipolar beast.

Comments

This post currently has 9 comments/trackbacks.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.

Trackbacks

No trackbacks yet to this post.

    Last reviewed: 11 Jul 2008