I recently accompanied my wife to an appointment with her therapist, Lucy. It was Cecie’s first therapy appointment since being released from the hospital as the result of a serious manic episode.
We sat in the Lucy’s office, and she asked Cecie to bring her up to speed on what had happened and what the new doctor had prescribed. Cecie launched into monologue, cramming the details of everything that had occured over the past couple weeks into about 5 minutes and barely stopping for a breath.
Anyone who knows Cecie knows that she talks fast, but one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is pressured speech – non-stop, rapid talking that makes it difficult for anyone to interrupt. I could tell that Lucy thought Cecie was talking too fast. I also knew that Cecie’s meds were working and she was not manic or hypomanic.
When Cecie stopped talking, I turned to Lucy and said, “Cecie always talks this fast, and I think she’s wants to make sure she covers everything before the session ends.” Lucy breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. She said, “So this is Cecie. This is how she talks when she’s well. That’s good to know.”
The moral of the story is that “normal” is different for different people. A doctor or therapist might not be aware of what’s normal for a particular person. As a friend or family member of someone with bipolar disorder, you can often play a valuable role by accompanying your loved one to appointments (assuming the person wants you there), and providing an objective ”third-party perspective” to help clarify what’s going on.
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I am bi-polarbearian.
I felt really uncomfortable when I read the dialogue between you and Lucy.
I would have felt better if Cecie and Lucy worked out the speech speed on their own.
Talking as if Cecie wasn’t in the room reminds me of my surgeon husband talking to my surgeon as if I wasn’t right there.
I feel that it is best if one works out one’s communication issues on their own.
Why did you go to the appointment with your wife? Was it her choice or yours or mutual?
I guess you had to be there. There was nothing uncomfortable about it, just three adults working things out. My wife invited me, and her therapist suggested that it might be a good idea. I typically say very little, if anything, but I thought the therapist needed my insight at the point when I spoke. Usually I just listen. Believe me, if Cecie thought I was out of line, she would have told me.
And if I hadn’t been there to express my observation, sure, Cecie and Lucy may have cleared up any misunderstanding their own, but then again, I’ve not gone to many doctor and therapy appointments and had misunderstandings and misinformation snowball in such a way to make me wish I had been there to say what I knew.
I agree that in most cases it’s best for family members to trust the therapuetic relationship, but there are times when the patient needs a little help. If my son is manic, he isn’t able to speak for himself or make treatment decisions and has asked his father and me to do that for him in those instances. When he isn’t manic, he still needs some help with decision-making because he has Asperger’s Syndrome, but he can fully participate and make the final decision himself. It’s a challenge to manage that fine line, but family members are sometimes needed to help the professionals with a reality check and to help the patient feel supported and less anxious.
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