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I have had a really, really tough couple of months. Between starting work, the holidays, and everything else in between I have been one big, giant yoyo.

With pretty severe depression settling in, I started the Effexor and ended up a little manic. I knew it was likely, actually, I knew it was inevitable. Going a little manic created it’s own set of issues for me and this life I live. My doc spotted it long before I did, only I didn’t want to listen to her.


So I had a very dramatic upswing, major irritability and crazy sleep habits started. To say I had trouble sleeping is an understatement. It was impossible.

10 Comments to
Recovering From Depression Is Hard, But Not Impossible

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  1. Hello Beth, Your story hits so close to home. I have those exact same feelings, thoughts, issues, and worries. I have been working day to day, to improve my myself. I have seen improvements, some times rather small. But for myself I will take every small step forward I can. Thank you for telling your story, you have reached myself and many others.

    Thank you,

  2. Thank you Beth. I just found your blog and have been reading your old posts. I have shockingly similar experiences and feelings. I’m a working professional mother of 4. Its challenging. I don’t feel so alone now.



  3. Hello,

    I am a 25 year old woman and have been fighting to get an actual, certifiable BPII diagnosis since I was 20. The last five years have been incredibly challenging and I just found your blog today. This post in particular really hit close to home because I use writing as a means to stop the rapid-cycling thoughts. I also started Effexor in September, which threw all semblance of sleep habits out the window.

    Thank you for sharing, it gives me hope that I can function as a responsible adult and one day as a mother who is capable of loving her children.


  4. Beth, please,please keep writing. I thankfully stumbled upon your blog on an evening where I find myself so depressed, I find it difficult to breathe. Knowing there is someone else out there who knows how I feel and is fighting the good fight gives me hope! God bless you!

  5. Hi Beth,

    I too have bi-polar 2 rapid cycling. I have just been diagnosed with it after trying different anti depressants with no relief. I am going through mixed emotion state right now. I went 48 hours without sleep along with depression. Thank you for sharing. Not that I would wish this on anyone but it is nice knowing that I am not the only one out there with these same symptoms.

    I have shut down. I barely make it to work and I am on thin ice right now. I just work, try to be as normal as possible around my kids at the same time feeling like I am crawling out of my skin.

    Thank you again for sharing!

  6. I just started to read your blog. I have been diagnosed in 08 with BPII, but it seems like over the years no one has been able to either believe me or been able to help me with the meds. I had just revisited a psychotherapist and a CNA specializing in mental illnesses. The therapy helped, but not a whole lot and the CNA tried 3 different meds before I stopped even going to him because I was just frustrated with his lack of scheduling and I work full-time, as well as have a husband, and 2 sons. I have seriously been rapid-cycling. I’ve had my first ever suicide attempt (husband stopped me), but with the tremendous amount of stress I just don’t know how it’ll get better. If my mind is not positive I cannot put positive out in my world. I am tired of hearing people (my family) talk about how there’s others in the world who have it worse, and I just need to stay positive… blah blah blah… if it were that easy, don’t they think I’d just do it!?!? They make it worse, they make me feel foolish and selfish, like feeling this way is my CHOICE!?!? anyways, best of luck to you and I pray everyday for the Lord to give me the sense and strength to get thru another day. :-/

  7. Thank you for writing about your experience with Bipolar. I have bipolar 2, and every day is a struggle to say the least.

  8. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m Bipolar 1 with rapid cycling. I’m currently in a place where I’m struggling to find happiness in family activities with my family and friends. I basically live in sweat pants when I’m not at work. I miss the sparkly that I used to have before I was diagnosed and medicated. But we all know what follows those extra sparkly moments. Depression. It does make me feel better to know that I’m not the only mom out there having these same feelings. I don’t have any friends who can relate to me right now. They just look at me when I try to tell them how I’m feeling.
    Thank you for sharing your story.

  9. Keep writing. Your blog will help many others and not just yourself. I am slightly depressed with a visit to my elderly mother who has spent much of her life as a rant raving bipolar.I have a sister who is even worse and is causing a lot of family disruption.I also have another sister who is schizophrenic and actively hallucinates at times, talks to herself and is a hoarder and compulsive eater. Two of us are “normal” although I have tendencies toward bipolar.Our lives have been utterly destroyed by this illness and by my parents insisting there are “no problems” in the family. They put reputation ahead of trying to deal with it , although we have the means to get medicine and therapy. I wish my sister would get help. She is abusive to her kids and can’t seem to hold a job.My mother is also pretty out of it but will never admit it. I had to go through years of therapy to get over the “missing” childhood of abuse and neglect,beatings, name calling and rejection. Today I realize my mother simply was not even present much of the time, with her compulsive talking, hoarding, shopping, skinpicking, hair pulling, and so on….YOu are doing the better thing for yourself and others and I applaud you for it. It is not easy. I have to wonder if we are going to find out some of this is related to nutrition as there are so many cases these days….Peace

  10. I happened to come across your blog during my lunch break today. I was diagnosed several years ago with Bipolar II. I am constantly battling with depression and irritation. I love my family and my husband however, I feel as though I am in my own little world trying to fit in. The winter months are particularly difficult. I can relate to the laundry build up and many other items several other individuals have spoken about. I teach special education as well as a mother of 3 children. Thank goodness for those who can share their experiences. I am sure I am not the only one who feels that way. Sometimes it’s the only thing that lets us know we are not alone.

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