Going Back To Work Is Great For Me, But Not For My Teenager
I took some time to write about all the things I love about going back to work. With my kids though it has been a little tough. They have been so used to me being home that they don’t really know anything different.
I had expected my two middle kids to have the hardest time but to my surprise, they’re okay. When I get home they run to hug me as they used to always do with my husband. They greet me with smiles and kisses and quickly get back to whatever they were doing.
My teenager, now that is a totally different story. I expected he would handle it the best but it turns out, it has been the hardest on him. It took me a little while to figure out what was going on with him but now that I know, it breaks my heart.
If I am not home when he gets home, he will text me asking when I am going to be home. This has been going on since day one. Often he will text me while he is in school and ask me if I am going to be home when he gets home. I just thought he was being nosey or up to no good. This was not the case.
Had I been more aware of what was going on I could have prevented the meltdown that would come. Assuming my teenager was mature enough to handle things as an adult backfired in a major way.
One day he appeared to be very emotional. I was trying to talk to him to see what was wrong but he closed up. He does that all the time and it makes it very hard for me to get through and try to help him. Well his attitude and demeanor began to get even worse, so we started trying to tell him that his behavior was unacceptable and nasty doesn’t work in our house.
Finally, he could no longer hold everything in and he lost it. He flipped in the kitchen, painfulling punching the granite counters while yelling at my husband and I about how everything is horrible and why did I have to go back to work.
My aha moment. I got it. Say what?
He stormed upstairs, locked himself in his bedroom and just sobbed. I could hear him sobbing but he wouldn’t let me in. Finally I unlocked his door and went in. He was laying on his bed, I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to hug him. He was stone cold, sobbing, and very closed off.
I laid my head on his chest and began sobbing with him. He reached up and grabbed my hand and we cried together. I always told him his pain was my pain too, and it would always be that way. This moment proved that to be true. Finally he started to calm down and I reminded him how much I love him.
We had a long talk about change and how important it is he learn how to adjust to things changing. It’s part of growing up. Holding my hand almost immediately stopped his sobbing. I was surprised that initially I was certain there was nothing I could do to stop this incredible ache in his heart and then I realized I am still his mother. No matter what, I will always be his mother.
I told him probably a hundred times how much I love him. In his eyes I could see this deep pain, he hugged me so tight. He is still my baby. He might be a teenager in this overgrown body, and he may be twice my size, but he is still my baby. He will always be my baby. When he hurts I will hurt, when he laughs I will laugh, and when he needs me I will always be there for him.
I never imagined going back to work and disrupting our families routine would be hardest on my teenager. We are working on it and I think he is doing a little better since he let it out. As for the other kids, I am so glad they aren’t going through the same thing because that would just be too much.
Mom and son photo available from Shutterstock
, B. (2013). Going Back To Work Is Great For Me, But Not For My Teenager. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 23, 2017, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar-mom/2013/01/going-back-to-work-is-great-for-me-but-not-for-my-teenager/