Well, where on earth do I get the idea that my husband should switch jobs with me? That’s easy, I believe he thinks he can do it better. Who knows, maybe I kinda feel like he could too. Here is why.
With the real estate classes I have been taking, the load has become heavier for my husband. On nights that I have class he has to get the kids off the bus, get them doing their chores and homework, get dinner ready, and do whatever miscellaneous chores that are left to be done.
When I get home the house is clean, the kids are all taken care of, and dinner is almost ready. I’m a little bit jealous here. How can he do it so much better than me? The kids are even commenting that he is a better cook than me! What’s up with that?
Here is what I think.
I have been at home with these kids for the past 8 years. I have worked a little in between but overall the majority of the time I have spent being a mother. I have taken care of the house, the kids, the laundry, the cleaning, the meals, the bills, the shopping, I’ve done it all. I think I’m just tired.
My kids are used to me and the routine that follows me. Dad doing it, it’s new. It’s new cooking, it’s a different structure, and they actually listen to him. If he starts laundry, generally he finishes it and puts it all away in a day. Me, I can’t do that because I am usually focused on a million other things and end up distracted.
He is also famous for moving messes. I hate it when he moves messes! I am always the one who ends up putting stuff back where it belongs after he’s moved it “out of sight, out of mind.” It is one of the biggest pet peeves of mine.
So I mentioned to him that maybe we should switch roles and his comment was, “I could never stay home because I can’t deal with being bored. I have to keep busy.” Oh boy. Seriously? I could not believe my ears.
It is so nice to come home to a clean house, dinner almost ready, clean clothes in the drawer, bathrooms cleaned, kids bathed, and all the other crap that goes in to being a “stay at home” parent. Then I got to thinking about how he is so much more efficient with my chores than I am and I have come to one conclusion only.
His efficiency and productivity when doing household chores is only a result of not having to spend years and years doing it. Every time I got a break from it because of an attempt at working, I was more than happy to stay home and do everything. It was easy, and I was so good at it. Eventually though it wears you down.
The mental exhaustion alone from the every day is enough to cause some slacking. Am I bored? Rarely. Am I losing my mind because I cant stand not working? Not really. I’d love to work to have something other than this house and my family and to have a little bit of “me” time and money.
The answer is not who cooks better or who cleans better, it’s about who has the mental energy to handle it. I wish he could be a stay at home dad for a year, and then we can sit down and have a heart to heart about the “boredom” and about how being a stay at home parent is so darn easy! I think he very well may change his tune and the kids probably would too.
Do you think every working father should have to fill the “stay at home parent” shoes once in a while as a reminder of how challenging our jobs really are? I think yes.
Stay at home dad photo available from Shutterstock
This post currently has
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.
Last reviewed: 18 Nov 2012