Archive for September, 2012

Unmedicated: I Know It’s Bad, But It Feels So Good!

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

bipolar unmedicatedYep, I am currently unmedicated. I know how dangerous it is and I know that I am playing with fire and understand that I will likely get burned. I am enjoying the liberty and freedom to feel human again, if only for a very short amount of time. Let me explain.

For the past few months I’ve been experiencing many health problems, like hair loss, dry skin, extreme fatigue, headaches, no sex drive, numb fingers and toes, tummy troubles, problems eating, and of course the no-brainer typical problem of weight gain. My blood work was showing trouble as well; my sugars, cholesterol and triglycerides were high. It’s been concerning.

My edocrinologist decided she wanted another “clean” blood panel. She decided it was again time to stop all medications, including vitamins, to find a baseline.

Woohoooo! An excellent excuse to feel good for a while. The results we got were promising.

I Got A Job Offer From Someone Who Knows All My Issues! Whoa!

Saturday, September 22nd, 2012

bipolar at workI have so many issues with so many situations that I can’t even keep up with them. There aren’t very many people who know about them all because I am pretty private with those not closest to me. Plenty of people know I struggle with Bipolar, but they don’t know the darker side of it.

Well, I was talking to my old landlady who was also my realtor, about my desire to possibly get my real estate license and start trying to work. At least that way I won’t have anyone “bossing” me around so to speak. I’m great with people, just not with overhead. With that said, she almost immediately offered me a job in her office. I was shocked.

I’ve known her for over 2 years and she’s been there for me through some harder times. I’ve been leery of her on occasion but I have also been open with her when it comes to certain situations. When I asked her to be my realtor she gladly accepted the challenge and helped me in so many ways throughout our home buying experience.

Here is why she feels like she wants me to work with her.

My Sister-In-Law is Either Manic, on Drugs, or Just Plain Nuts!

Monday, September 17th, 2012

sister in lawThe most important thing my father drilled into my brothers and I growing up was that, in the end, all we have is each other. It never made sense until I got older and stopped hating them. For many years my brothers had my back and I had theirs. We were all very close and we took care of one another.

Then we grew up. Three of us got married and we all had kids. Once our lives started to branch off into different directions, those bonds we once had were cut pretty deep. I do miss those days and my heart breaks to think of how much we’ve all grown apart over the past five years or so.

The one I have drifted away from the most is my oldest brother. He was always our protector. Even as adults he was always the one who kept us in line. When he got married, his new (very young) bride was very jealous of me. It spawned this horrible chain of events which ultimately destroyed my relationship with my oldest brother and even my father. Eventually my husband convinced me that there was nothing I could do to change any of it.

While Life Should Be Wonderful In My New Home, I Have Been Miserable!

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

new home stressWhen we made the decision to buy a new home, it was very hard on me. After we lost everything and then some, making such a huge decision was almost crippling. I turned to my husband for support and encouragement, and together we moved forward.

It took about 6 months to make the big decision, but I was thrilled when we finally went under contract to have a home built. We both felt a huge sense of accomplishment. We had finally made our way through the worst time of our lives.

As we waited anxiously for our home to be built, we made trips almost daily to watch as our dirt lot become a beautiful home. Our excitement was almost too much to handle! We started buying new furniture, new decorations, new everything. We decided this was the perfect time to completely start over. It was so exciting! Well, of course it was exciting spending so much money; that is something I have always done best.

I May Be Bipolar, But I Still Have Plenty of Compassion!

Monday, September 10th, 2012

bipolar compassionSo two weeks ago I wrote about my crazy ordeal and the chaos around moving into my new home. In that post I talked about my wedding set being stolen. This was a $3500 diamond set, 1.6 carats, beautiful. The center stone was my moms, she had given me her ring when I got married and my husband had it placed in a new setting for me.

Needless to say this ring not only has sentimental value in being my wedding set, the center stone was my mom’s. She was pretty upset that I had lost it, but we had to find a way to move past it. I was going to get a new ring, everything was fine. I was doing okay with it.

I still missed my ring.

Well, it has been recovered and the way it was recovered is amazing. The only thing I can be certain of, it was divine intervention. God led me to my ring. Now I am questioning whether or not to press charges against the kid who stole it from my home.

Remember: When Things Get Really Bad, It Can Always Get Worse!

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

from bad to worseI already posted about my moving hell. When I say hell, I mean the belly of hell. I really did not think anything could get worse so I just kept on going, and going, and going.

The problem with trying to keep optimistic in the face of complete chaos and frustration is that things can always get worse.

I will say that through everything I have not completely lost my mind or spiraled out of control, not even once. My anxiety, however, has been through the roof and my mouth has been on fire! This mouth of mine is going to eventually get me into trouble. I just know it!

Keep Your Hands Off My Autistic Toddler!

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

autistic toddlerI took my daughter to her kindergarten orientation last Friday. We were so excited to get to meet her teacher, see her classroom and learn about her upcoming year. Until I wanted to smack her teacher!

I took my little one with us. My husband (who works night shift) had school and sleep, so the three of us made our way to her new class. My little one immediately went over to the kitchen play area and started playing. Not only is he turning three, but he has autism. I didn’t see the big deal, but when the teacher got upset and grabbed his arm to guide him away I quickly moved him away from the area.

It gets much worse.


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