I already posted about my son’s most recent evaluation for services relating to Autism. That was incredibly difficult and something I am still struggling with. It will take time to adjust and accept everything, but I am working on it.
On top of that stress, my kids have been pretty impossible. We are down to the last two weeks of school and they are going batty. My daughter has been crying for 30 minutes every morning before school which really pounces on my nerves, especially because I am not a morning person.
The kids also stay up late at night goofing off and playing in their room, coming downstairs constantly and not listening. It’s challenging. With my husband being on 3rd shift, I am left with bedtime duty every night after 8:00PM because he goes to sleep. I’m not complaining, well okay whatever, yes I am. I am irritated.
Then, I am slowly going through all our crap, loads and loads of crap, trying to sort through things and get rid of stuff so that it makes the move easier. While doing this, my house gets wrecked so then on top of going through stuff I am stuck with a huge mess to clean. Then my kids can’t seem to pick up their own stuff, and I am left with that too.
Now my husband. Oh dear. He likes to pick – a lot. I mean a whole lot! My issue isn’t that he picks, it’s that he has been picking at me lately more than usual. I have tried to ask him to lighten up because I am not doing well and he doesn’t seem to care. He keeps picking! I snapped at him yesterday for it, and he says “that’s how I’ve always been and I am not going to change!” Okay fine, whatever. Just for one day can you give it a rest? No, and it continues into today.
I am seriously at my wit’s end over here!
So I made a decision that I wanted to hang around the house this weekend as a family. Last weekend we hung out with friends Friday and Saturday. This weekend I really wanted to take a rest and just stay home and it was something I was looking forward to. Considering I have issues a lot of times with going places and doing things with other people, I figured I deserved a weekend at home in my safe zone.
My husband gets a call today from a neighbor saying they want to hang out. I voiced to him pretty strongly that I did not want to go anywhere, and then I am the bad guy. He starts yelling at me telling me that I need to get out and go hang out with friends, I need to do stuff. I am so irritated! I should be allowed to make a decision to stay home and not be picked on for it. So I am then brought to tears begging him to give me a break and cut me some slack, and he continues to pick fights even more with me.
Then we start fighting about money. Go figure. If I don’t pay off his credit card the very moment I use it (why use it?) instead of in three days when I am planning on it anyway, I am a douchebag. Seriously. Three hours later we discuss how he used the bank account and I fuss at him for not putting the money back and all hell breaks loose in the house and he goes into the bedroom and pouts! Seriously!?!?!
He then storms through the house with his cooler, loads it up with beer, and tries to kiss me goodbye. Uh-uh. No way buddy. He storms out muttering how if I want to come let him know. I already told him I couldn’t handle that right now. I am so overwhelmed and stressed out by the kids (which I get to, again, put to bed by myself) and everything is so much, he can’t even respect that. So I am sitting here, an emotional mess all bruised and broken inside, and he leaves. How does that make me the bad guy exactly?
I could so run away right now, and be completely happy about it.
Do you ever feel like you could just pack a bag and run?
Girl with suitcase photo available from Shutterstock.
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Last reviewed: 25 Jun 2012