I have been through the terrible two’s three times already. All of my kids were actually pretty good. They would throw the occasional temper tantrum and be little snot monsters on occasion, but overall my kids were awesome toddlers. I always counted my blessings; I figured maybe if I did a good enough job and tried to be as patient as possible they would learn patience too. They did, but it didn’t last too long.
Anyway, I could rant all day about how nuts my lovely older children can make me, but this isn’t about them. It’s about the youngest of the bunch. He has a bad case of the terrible two’s that could put all three of my children combined to shame. I don’t know what to do.
He will be three in September. He is starting to have his own opinions, ideas and attitude. It is not meshing very well with the Autism. The biggest barrier we have is communication. We can work through his other problems without much trouble, but the communication is really getting to be a major issue.
When we try to talk to him he doesn’t always get what we are saying. He frequently disregards what we say or just doesn’t listen and then we end up having these huge meltdowns. It has gotten so bad that I have my sister-in-law watch him two days a week now, so that I can run my errands.
I don’t leave him with anyone, so making the decision to let him stay with her was very difficult. One good thing is that he loves her to pieces and does not throw the tantrums with her.
Anyway, if he sees something and he wants it, all hell will break loose and we must allow him to have it or we will all pay for it. My older children get frustrated because sometimes it is so bad that we have no choice but to give in. He has cried for two hours before, and eventually we lose the battle. It is very hard to explain the concept of sharing to a child who has no way of understanding. His little brain just doesn’t quite get it.
So what do we do? Do we give in all the time to spare the anxiety attack I will have when he has a meltdown? Stick to our guns when he doesn’t understand what we are doing? I just don’t know what to do.
I have gone back to the state to see what other early intervention is available, and he qualifies for a school-based program when he turns three. They will focus mainly on the communication barrier, but also iron out the little quirks he has.
I am very excited about this opportunity for him to get therapy and get better. Their intervention team is fantastic, and working with them has been amazing so far, so I think it can only get better from here. Plus – an added bonus – is the four hours I will get every morning to do what I do best, take care of my house in peace!
I am very frustrated over the situation at hand with the meltdowns and tantrums, but at least there is some light at the end of this tunnel called therapy. I have high hopes. We will see what happens!
Tantrum kid photo available from Shutterstock.
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Last reviewed: 5 Jun 2012