woman relaxingI have a wonderful psychiatrist now. She is very kind and caring, she allows me to have a voice about my treatments, and she doesn’t really pressure me about medications. I love that about her.

I am now on welbutrin as well as the saphris and cogentin for side effects. I recently also started cholesterol medication. It’s so frustrating sometimes, but since I got a pill sorter for AM and PM medications, it’s made it easier for me to keep track of the many medications I have to take.

I have been overly anxious starting the new meds and I think it is because of one I am taking. I sometimes feel like I am crawling out of my skin, and other times I feel both exhausted and anxious at the same time. It really is a very creepy and indescribable feeling. I also have not been on antidepressants, and because of that I am so weepy…it totally sucks!

My surgery for my stomach problems is finally scheduled for December 21. I think I am probably going to have a rough Christmas, but this is a much needed surgery that will be life changing for me.

When the hernias are fixed and my abdominal wall strengthened, I will be able to do things I haven’t been able to do. I hope to be able to go for bike rides with the kids and get in the floor and play with them, maybe I can even start jogging again without being on the couch for 2-3 days on pain medication.

With the ability to exercise, I am hoping to reverse the diabetes, get my high cholesterol down, and stay in a happier mood and begin losing weight.

Maybe I am hanging too much hope on this one procedure, but it’s all I have right now to really be hopeful about. I am eager to get my life back, and get rid of at least half of the pills I take each day.

I could not have paid for it on my own, and my insurance is not helping to cover the cost, so I have actually turned to my family for help. I was surprised how eager my family was to help me pay for the surgery, with the same high hopes as me. I do have to finance a large portion of it, but at least my family pulled together to cover 1/3 of the expected cost by donating money to my “surgery fund.”

I am going to have to re-evaluate the meds I am taking and try to figure out the one that is causing uncontrollable fatigue. This is where taking baby steps is important.

Woman photo available from Shutterstock.