My last post “It’s Time To Fire My Psychiatrist” was about the negativity I received from my psychiatrist during my last “in crisis” session.  The outpouring of support and guidance from my peers was so amazing that it was almost overwhelming.  There were many questions and many suggestions.  I have taken time over the weekend to reflect on all the amazing support I have received and the wonderful feedback from my blog family.  First and foremost I want to thank everyone for all the help.  It has been wonderful.

So to start, I spent many years (and I mean many) in therapy.  Granted this was before my bipolar diagnoses, but I also spent some time in therapy afterwards.  Eventually it gets to the point where you’ve covered all basis and life flows smoothly enough to discontinue regular therapy.  (My opinion, go ahead and fuss at me!)  So I haven’t been in therapy for some time, and still don’t feel a need for regular therapy.

However, I am considering it again to help cope with all the medical problems I am facing, but that will come when I can afford it – hopefully soon.

My psychiatrist does specialize in bipolar, and has been very good at trying to help me find a good balance.  Over the previous 10 weeks, the two sessions I had prior to my “crisis” session, we had determined that I was doing quite well on my antidepressant and the ativan.  I have an “episode” about once every 3 months.  It can last anywhere between a few days to 3 weeks.  We can usually move through it pretty quickly with the right “temporary” medication cocktail.  I even had her support in my current medication.  I suffer more regularly from depression so the antidepressants are usually what I need.

I don’t turn to my Dr. for any kind of talk therapy, but she needs to know what my mood is and what my triggers are to help me, and she asks.  The last time when I told her what was happening is when she lashed out at me – even though my previous two sessions were uneventful and pretty stable.  What her issue was beats the hell out of me.

So I have been keeping the pre-diabetes under control since the birth of my fourth child two years ago.  I have done very well managing it with diet and exercise, but as of lately it has turned into type 2 diabetes and I didn’t know.  I am seeing my endocrinologist to try to get it under control and so far I am doing okay with only a couple spikes in my blood sugar over the weekend.

I refuse to take any medication that may cause a hypoglycemic episode before I can stabilize my sugars, which can take up to 6 months.  The most important thing for me right now is to get my sugar stable so that when I do have to take a medication that could cause my sugar to go up, my endo can properly adjust my medication to counteract that.  The problem is my sugars are all over the charts, and he has said I have to steer clear of anything (including medications) that could cause an unusual spike until the diabetes is stable.  It’s frustrating.

With that said, I believe a large contributing factor in my most recent “crisis” that I was fussed at for having, was the lack of sleep.  I also believe the lack of sleep was what had pushed my sugars up near the 300 mark.  With the Ambien CR I have been able to get a grip on my sleep again, and I am starting to feel better.

I think now I can approach everything on a more level ground rather than from a crazy out of control mindset.  I am going to take my wonderful husband with me for my next visit with her, to remind her it is her JOB to help me control my moods in crisis because sometimes (being bipolar) the crisis can choke me.  She’s been pretty decent up until now, and for all I know she could have been PMSing.  Still not a good excuse though.

I am taking a better look at my diet and exercise also, hopefully soon we can get my abdominal muscles fixed so that I can get back to my normal daily exercise routine and maybe (just maybe!) reverse the diabetes.  That is my goal.  It’s time to get resourceful and pull myself back together.

Again, without the help, advice, and support from all of you during what has been a very difficult time for me, I don’t think I would be okay today.  All of you have helped me with every bit of support and advice you have given.

I will post later this week for a part three of firing my psychiatrist for a final review of what I have decided to do, and what treatment plan my husband and I have come up with.

I love you guys!

Photo by Anna Ivette Rodriguez, available under a Creative Commons attribution license.

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Mental Health Social (August 1, 2011)

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    Last reviewed: 1 Aug 2011