When I was a kid my dad used to drive down this long, creepy, winding road. It went through the forest, it was always dark even in the middle of the day – even the trees were creepy. There were some very sharp turns where the road narrowed so much two cars would never be able to pass. I was always scared senseless when my dad would drive down this road. I was totally out of control and focusing only on what was around me waiting to reach the stop sign.
That is what living with bipolar is like.
You look ahead and all you feel is fear, never knowing what is about to happen. You have no control over that curve coming ahead – never knowing if another car will be trying to come around the same curve as you. You are paying such close attention to the road in front of you and the forest around you that you can’t even look behind to see where you’ve been. All your focus is centered on the single moment. You cant see what is in front of you because of all the curves and trees – it’s a powerless and scary ride. Until you get help.
What happens when you get help? C’mon – let’s go for another ride.
Shortly after my 17th birthday I started driver’s education class. The day my driving instructor picked me up from my home to take a driving lesson, I was clueless I was about to drive this same road that terrified me as a little girl. It hadn’t changed much. Together as a team we ventured down this road to pick up another student.