I recently had someone I love speak her opinion very strongly to me.  It was almost like she was trying to influence a decision I had made – I had to remind myself that everyone has an opinion, and that’s part of what makes us human.  Sometimes, even though we don’t ask for them, people still share their opinions.  The thing is, an opinion is simply just an opinion.

A long time ago when I had my first son, I very quickly realized how many people have their own opinions and how they expect their opinion to change yours.  Part of being human is making mistakes, accepting them, learning from them, and trying your hardest not to do it again.  Parenting, for example, comes along with opinions from nearly every person you meet.  It can be as simple as which diaper cream to use or as complex as whether or not to spank your child.  Marriage also comes with many opinions from others – however, I think those should be kept to a minimum.

I have been very blessed and I do not have to face a ton of criticism or scrutiny on how I am as a wife or a mother.  In fact it is the opposite, I get a lot of praise and admiration from those I love.  They stand up for me, applaud my efforts, and provide a great deal of encouragement and support in both my marriage and child rearing.  Unfortunately, not everyone is so blessed.

I spent many years listening to others gripe about how I wasn’t doing anything right raising my son because I was young, only 16, when I had him.  I listened to so many people telling me how to do it differently, how to make it right, how to raise my son.  The problem though was I listened a little too much.  I put too much weight on others opinions and in turn changed the mother I was.

Now, 14 years later, I know better!  After allowing other people’s opinions to actually change my own opinions for so long, I decided that no one else in this world is responsible for my actions but myself.  With this realization, it has made it much easier to take everyone’s opinions as just that, opinions, and began making my own decisions, and having my own feelings.

A lot of people have very loud opinions on bipolar disorder, and that is perfectly okay with me.  I will listen, accept their opinions, and allow them to speak their mind.  Ultimately though, they are simply opinions.  I don’t let other people influence my feelings on my disorder, parenting, or marriage, because it is my life and my choices are my own just as the consequences of my choices are my own to accept and deal with.

With that said, I welcome all opinions and advice anyone throws at me, when it comes to treatment, medication, and being a wife and mother while surviving bipolar.  The difference now is, there is only one person who can change my own opinions, and that is me!

Photo by Sugar Pond, available under a Creative Commons attribution license.

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    Last reviewed: 4 Jun 2011