Well we are back to fighting about money. Go figure! I know it is what most people fight about, and I know it’s a constant battle in most marriages – but it’s getting really old!
I really thought I had a problem with spending. I thought I was nuts and just had ridiculous spending habits until recently. I have realized I was actually really good with the household money. I always made sure everyone had everything they needed. I was on top of it all and our house ran very well. We didn’t get into a pinch too often, and things were pretty good.
After listening to my husband go on and on about how I “blow” money on stuff we don’t need for so long I finally started to believe him. I agreed to go on a very tight budget thinking it was my fault we weren’t saving a ton of money. Basically, he broke me down into believing I was failing when in fact I was succeeding very well.
Living on this very tight budget has been extremely stressful on us. I just simply do not have enough money to take care of everything I am used to taking care of. It’s been getting more and more difficult. Lately, we have needed a lot around here and the bill is adding up. That is also overwhelming. Clothes for six people, shoes, socks, underwear, summer gear, it adds up so fast!
What I used to do was take the extra cash I had and buy a couple outfits here and there, to keep up with the growing kids. What this did was ease some of the stress from them all growing at once and having a huge clothing bill that we may not be able to afford. So this “always bringing crap home” statement is for the birds! Yes I am always bringing home stuff we do or will need soon. The problem was, he did a great job making me feel like I was blowing money. The truth is, I was just good at hitting sales and grabbing stuff gradually to spare us the $800 clothing bill that would have snuck up on us and robbed our bank account.
I have put my foot down, and yes I threw a temper tantrum. It’s what I do to make him hear me. (Yes I know, not good but it is effective!) We are changing the way we save, the way we spend, and I think he is gonna get off my butt about spending. I have been taking him shopping to see that all this “crap” is expensive. I mean a week’s worth of paper towels is $9. That’s $40 a month for paper towels!!! Time for more dish towels!
Anyway, I have finally been heard! I think my “bipolar spending” is in fact NOT bipolar at all. I think it is actually me being a thrifty and wise mother of 4 trying to make it in a world where you can’t get a decent roll of paper towels for less than $2. Seriously? It irritates me.
I am excited about this. I have been stressed for months over this money thing trying to prove to my husband that our needs are expensive. Though he still refuses to see it I refuse to deal with it. I’m feeling optimistic that in forcing him to use his credit card for a lot of things he needs, and taking him shopping with me, that he has been able to see the true “cost” of raising a family of 6.
Maybe once we do a third overhaul of our finances, he will let up some and just let me do my thing when it comes to meeting our needs. I have a big job, not only do I have to take care of everyone, I have to make the money work too. I may not have a strict budget on paper, but in my head, it works just fine!
I feel heard, I feel I was able to make my point! Hear me roooooar!
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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (June 18, 2011)
Mental Health Social (June 18, 2011)
Peter H Brown (June 18, 2011)
Chad Booker (June 18, 2011)
Last reviewed: 18 Jun 2011