Is there a “good” side of bipolar? Absolutely.  It’s called mania.  Those who suffer from bipolar and swing between severe depression and hypomania learn to love and welcome the mania.  It is why a lot of people who have bipolar end up going off their medications.  Mania feels good.  It is the most amazing natural high one can feel for no reason.  The euphoria is addictive, and dangerous.

I am very limited on the medications I can take, but I do the best I can with the ones I can take.  With mania comes insomnia, incredible energy, increased sex drive, a love for life, feeling incredible about yourself, etc.  Milder mania can be very rewarding and not as dangerous.

With me, I find that I just have a beautiful amount of energy, my house is spotless, the kids are taken care of every day, I cook amazing elaborate dinners, and it seems as if I am just the most amazing woman in the world.  I feel like I can conquer anything and everything that comes my way.  I wish everyone could know how great it feels, so that there could be a much better understanding.  Even though I am pretty well medicated, I still experience mild mania, clinically known as “hypomania,” pretty frequently.

Now, the downside.  There is always a downside.  My mind kind of goes haywire.  My thoughts race around in my head so fast by the time I am digesting one thought it’s gone and a new one is in it’s place. Physically I wear down, ending up a wreck from lack of sleep, while at the same time I am still overwhelmed with energy.  It’s like drinking 10 energy drinks after sleeping 2 hours.  Your body is cursing you but your still wide awake and can’t do anything about it!

After an episode of crippling depression (which is what I am usually dealing with) the hypomanic episode that follows is wonderful.  It takes a great deal of self control to continue the medication knowing if I stopped how much better it would feel.  I have to remember the dangers of the high from the mania and remind myself that keeping control of it is what is best for my family.  It would be very selfish and self destructive of me to discontinue my meds for an “out of this world” manic episode.

I (along with many others) will welcome the manic episode with open arms and a smile.  I feel bad for loving it, and I have incredible remorse for all the things that come along with it, but I still love it.  When it’s gone I will miss it, but when the crippling depression strikes again, I will remember how good it feels when the mania comes back for a visit.

The medication does not stop the manic episode entirely, but at least it does help me to stay somewhat grounded.  I can still enjoy enough euphoria to tackle my chores, do wonderfully exciting and fun things with the children, and at least be happy if only for a little while.  I feel like the best wife and mother during these times.  How on earth can something so dangerous, feel so incredible?

**This blog is regarding my personal feelings of my own hypomanic eposide.  Frequently, manic episodes can lead to extremely dangerous behavior and/or hospitalization.  I am only expressing my thoughts on my own hypomanic episodes which are not generally dangerous or severe because I make sure I take my medication daily as prescribed**

Photo by justgrimes, available under a Creative Commons attribution license.

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (February 16, 2011)

mischa (February 16, 2011)

Susan Kramss (February 18, 2011)

    Last reviewed: 16 Feb 2011