As a teenager, I made everything tougher than it needed to be.

I argued when I was asked to do chores. I was miserable just to prove a point. I wouldn’t listen to good advice.

I was also a teenager with mental illness.

Quality of life is an important topic for people with bipolar disorder.

If you have the illness, you know that you suffer emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically.

Medically, the diagnosis is associated with impaired functioning.

For instance, if a woman develops bipolar disorder at the age of 25, she could lose up to 9 years of her life because of cardiovascular and other medical problems.

She may also lose up to 14 years of productivity, and 12 years of good health.

When I was in elementary school, my grandparents babysat me while my mom was at work.

My grandparents lived in a busy neighborhood with lots of children.

There were kids my age next door on both sides, and we would all gather to play in the afternoons or on weekends.

One Saturday, we were playing hide and seek throughout the neighborhood and some of the girls were suggesting that I be “it”—the one to find the others.

A large number of people with bipolar disorder have coexisting conditions.

It could be anxiety, a substance abuse disorder, an eating disorder, or in my case, ADHD.

Guilt—A feeling every individual with bipolar has experienced.

While the reasons may vary, it seems that we’re all feeling bad about ourselves.

For instance, this past weekend, my mood started dipping during a social event at a friend’s house. I just couldn’t smile anymore. I was irritated and antisocial and tired. 

“Self-sabotage” was a household term in my family.

My mother picked it up somewhere, maybe in a NAMI class or in therapy or a self-help book. She started to use it on me when I was in high school, when I made bad decisions or when my moods became uncontrollable.

She would start to predict the results of my erratic behavior, knowing when something bad was going to happen. She’d sit on her bed and talk to me with concern.

“You’re sabotaging yourself. You need to find another way”.

It’s Valentine’s Day Eve (do we call it that?) and it’s apparent that love is in the air.

The drug store has been filled with candy hearts since last month, and we’ve had our Valentine’s Day dinner reservation for about 10 days.

Now I’m pondering. Reflecting.

How would you explain bipolar to someone in 20 seconds?

I often avoid the topic because I don’t know how I would explain it to people.

I often feel rushed when I’m in conversation, and I don’t want to take up too much of someone’s time.

So what happens when, in conversation, you want or have to bring up that you live with bipolar disorder?

In the past 12 years, I have learned a lot from bipolar disorder, mostly, what not to do. I’m working on the “how to do it right” part.

At this point, I have quite a few tips on how to fail with bipolar disorder. From medication to therapy to relationships, this is a comprehensive guide.

Hope you enjoy.

I’ve learned over the last 24 years that a woman’s relationship with her mother varies as much as our personalities.

Borrowing from a theory I learned in therapy, in a relationship, there is the individual personality and the collective personality. The collective personality is made up of both individual personalities. That makes the relationship between mother and daughter even more dynamic.