Being diagnosed with a disorder as mysterious and stigmatized as bipolar can be scary and even devastating.

I was psychotic the day I was diagnosed. I was in the hospital, and I never saw the psychiatrist again. I didn’t have the capacity to really let the words sink in.

It was after I got home that I realized the impact of my diagnosis.

Quality of life is an important topic for people with bipolar disorder.

If you have the illness, you know that you suffer emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically.

Medically, the diagnosis is associated with impaired functioning.

For instance, if a woman develops bipolar disorder at the age of 25, she could lose up to 9 years of her life because of cardiovascular and other medical problems.

She may also lose up to 14 years of productivity, and 12 years of good health.

In my experience, bipolar symptoms can creep up almost out of nowhere—in the sense that you feel like things might be off one day, and the next day you’re crying uncontrollably, telling your parents you think you’re going crazy.

I think that’s part of falling into a deep episode of depression—it’s almost more powerful than you are. You think you can handle a bad day and then you’re holding a cake knife in your mother’s kitchen, threatening to hurt yourself.

If you have read my KatGalaxy Blog, you know that music means a lot to me.

I have created mixtapes and written songs devoted to bipolar disorder.

When I was at my highest and lowest moment in life, I was listening to music. 

This is the second article in a series about bipolar women. As I discussed in the first article on hormones, pregnancy, and medication, this series will explore issues specific to females with bipolar.

The following information, taken from a National Institute of Health manuscript on women and  bipolar across the lifespan, was compiled to inform you about all of the things you might not have known.

Share this information with your friends. Being a woman with bipolar disorder is both unique and challenging. A part of understanding this illness is being armed with information.

Lithium has long been called the “gold standard” in treatment for bipolar disorder.

But the side effects of taking lithium can be, at the very least, uncomfortable—symptoms include excessive thirst, weight gain, thyroid problems, and even kidney failure.

Lithium is extremely effective, but has these, among other, unwanted side effects.

Because of this, researchers are now looking for insight into exactly how lithium works in the body.

“And I claim I’m not excited with my life anymore,

So I blame this town, this job, these friends,

The truth is it’s myself.”

-Modest Mouse, Talking S*** About a Pretty Sunset

Wanderlust. It’s a pretty word. The dictionary defines it as “a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.”

“Self-sabotage” was a household term in my family.

My mother picked it up somewhere, maybe in a NAMI class or in therapy or a self-help book. She started to use it on me when I was in high school, when I made bad decisions or when my moods became uncontrollable.

She would start to predict the results of my erratic behavior, knowing when something bad was going to happen. She’d sit on her bed and talk to me with concern.

“You’re sabotaging yourself. You need to find another way”.

In the past 12 years, I have learned a lot from bipolar disorder, mostly, what not to do. I’m working on the “how to do it right” part.

At this point, I have quite a few tips on how to fail with bipolar disorder. From medication to therapy to relationships, this is a comprehensive guide.

Hope you enjoy.

I’m feeling a little lifted. Brighter than usual.

I decide it’s a really good idea to go to the drug store and stock up on items that I need. I start a list in my mind, and it’s quite long.