Being diagnosed with a disorder as mysterious and stigmatized as bipolar can be scary and even devastating.

I was psychotic the day I was diagnosed. I was in the hospital, and I never saw the psychiatrist again. I didn’t have the capacity to really let the words sink in.

It was after I got home that I realized the impact of my diagnosis.

As a teenager, I made everything tougher than it needed to be.

I argued when I was asked to do chores. I was miserable just to prove a point. I wouldn’t listen to good advice.

I was also a teenager with mental illness.

Quality of life is an important topic for people with bipolar disorder.

If you have the illness, you know that you suffer emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically.

Medically, the diagnosis is associated with impaired functioning.

For instance, if a woman develops bipolar disorder at the age of 25, she could lose up to 9 years of her life because of cardiovascular and other medical problems.

She may also lose up to 14 years of productivity, and 12 years of good health.

In my experience, bipolar symptoms can creep up almost out of nowhere—in the sense that you feel like things might be off one day, and the next day you’re crying uncontrollably, telling your parents you think you’re going crazy.

I think that’s part of falling into a deep episode of depression—it’s almost more powerful than you are. You think you can handle a bad day and then you’re holding a cake knife in your mother’s kitchen, threatening to hurt yourself.

If you have read my KatGalaxy Blog, you know that music means a lot to me.

I have created mixtapes and written songs devoted to bipolar disorder.

When I was at my highest and lowest moment in life, I was listening to music. 

This is the second article in a series about bipolar women. As I discussed in the first article on hormones, pregnancy, and medication, this series will explore issues specific to females with bipolar.

The following information, taken from a National Institute of Health manuscript on women and  bipolar across the lifespan, was compiled to inform you about all of the things you might not have known.

Share this information with your friends. Being a woman with bipolar disorder is both unique and challenging. A part of understanding this illness is being armed with information.

I have a question.

Is there such thing as thinking about your mental illness too much?

In the throes of depression I have had multiple people, diagnosed and not, tell me that maybe I think excessively about having bipolar.

Maybe it’s affecting me.

Lithium has long been called the “gold standard” in treatment for bipolar disorder.

But the side effects of taking lithium can be, at the very least, uncomfortable—symptoms include excessive thirst, weight gain, thyroid problems, and even kidney failure.

Lithium is extremely effective, but has these, among other, unwanted side effects.

Because of this, researchers are now looking for insight into exactly how lithium works in the body.

“And I claim I’m not excited with my life anymore,

So I blame this town, this job, these friends,

The truth is it’s myself.”

-Modest Mouse, Talking S*** About a Pretty Sunset

Wanderlust. It’s a pretty word. The dictionary defines it as “a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.”

We know it’s true–women have different responses to bipolar disorder than men.

This series about bipolar disorder in women will explore issues specific to females with the condition.