Archives for February, 2013


We All Feel Waves of Guilt

Guilt—A feeling every individual with bipolar has experienced.

While the reasons may vary, it seems that we’re all feeling bad about ourselves.

For instance, this past weekend, my mood started dipping during a social event at a friend’s house. I just couldn’t smile anymore. I was irritated and antisocial and tired. 

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The Pain of Self-Sabotage

“Self-sabotage” was a household term in my family.

My mother picked it up somewhere, maybe in a NAMI class or in therapy or a self-help book. She started to use it on me when I was in high school, when I made bad decisions or when my moods became uncontrollable.

She would start to predict the results of my erratic behavior, knowing when something bad was going to happen. She’d sit on her bed and talk to me with concern.

“You’re sabotaging yourself. You need to find another way".

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Energy Zapped: I Miss the Breath of Life

I don’t remember the last time I had any energy.

If I could rate how I feel physically on a scale of 1-10 most days out of the week, I’d be at a three or four.

Except for slightly high blood sugar likely due to medication, my blood work has never shown any reason to be concerned about my health.

Today, though, as I worked through my fifth hour at the office, I noticed that my symptoms of fatigue are starting to become more than I can manage. There, at my desk, I started to shut down. My energy was zapped, my muscles were tight, and I found it hard to focus.

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Explaining Bipolar in 20 Seconds

How would you explain bipolar to someone in 20 seconds?

I often avoid the topic because I don’t know how I would explain it to people.

I often feel rushed when I’m in conversation, and I don’t want to take up too much of someone's time.

So what happens when, in conversation, you want or have to bring up that you live with bipolar disorder?

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Bipolar and the Art of Tapping

The first time I encountered tapping, I was at my therapist’s office in the spring of 2011. I’m usually one of those pessimists that think that alternative techniques to mental health will never work.

And I didn’t believe in tapping for a while.

However, I’m here to tell you today that although I have only been tapping regularly for the last few months, I can see a big difference in the way I feel after I do it.

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Getting Myself to Wake Up

I wake up in the morning to my alarm. I set it each night with 10-20 minutes or so to spare, just in case I can’t get out of bed.

I’m foolish, because I end up snoozing. At least thirty minutes past time.

I miss my shower. My workout.

Why am I sabotaging myself?

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