Archives for Bipolar

Bipolar

Is Bipolar Still In Disorder Really The Best We Can Do?

A common refrain in the bipolar disorder community is "I'm doing the best I can.” Every time I hear this or a similar phrase my heart weeps. I know all too well the feeling of despair and hopelessness that comes with it. There were so many times, while in tears, I used the exact same phrase. Whenever I hear it now, I want to reach out and empathize with the person so she does not feel alone. But at the same time I find myself conflicted. I know from my own experience, and from helping so many others, that the results we based the statement on was not the best we could do. Not by a long shot. That part of me wants to say, "you are stigmatizing yourself into accepting a life that is far less fulfilling than what you're capable of."

I have struggled with this conflict for many years and I'm finally ready to go public with it. Allowing such statements to go unchallenged not only harms the person saying them but also stigmatizes everyone else into believing that the best we can do is to continue to suffer with a dis-ordered relationship to the bipolar condition.

I wonder if my first compassionate inclination is not really compassionate at all when we consider it prolongs suffering in anyone who buys into the sentiment. The most compassionate thing is to help everyone create better outcomes so that bipolar is no longer a disordered condition and instead becomes an advantage in their lives.
It is especially disconcerting when I hear such statements from people claiming to be "experts" who are giving advice about how to deal with bipolar disorder. I know it gets them sympathetic comments and the feeling that they are relating to their audience, but aren't they just telling their audience to accept the same limitations that they have accepted?

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Bipolar

How Depression Prepared Me For A Death In The Family

I know depression. It destroyed my life in my thirties and almost killed me in my early fifties. Back then, had anyone dared to tell me what I am about to say to you, I would have gotten very upset. I could not imagine that there was anything good about depression. Can you? What you are about to learn could change your mind. By using a new approach to working with depression, I had prepared myself for probably the most extreme crisis our family has ever faced. When I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I wholeheartedly bought into the idea that depression is a dark hole from which the only hope is to escape. It was certainly impossible to function well during deep depression. To function while deeply depressed meant to stay alive and minimize the harm it was clearly causing in my life and in the lives of those around me. High-functioning as related to depression meant that I needed to find ways to get out of it and back to a state where functioning in any productive way was possible.

Finding agreement for such beliefs is easy. Finding someone who challenges those beliefs is difficult. Even more difficult is letting go of society's belief that it is impossible to function while in manic or depressed states. But once you become open to the possibility that you can learn to function during manic or depressive states, your life will change in ways that you cannot imagine. You will come to understand something that few people do. You may well consider it the most important lesson of your life.

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Bipolar

No Longer At The Mercy Of Our Moods

I recently watched a movie about the life of Jackson Pollock. (Sony Pictures, Ed Harris, 2000) It left me thinking about how a generation of young artists were taught the mythology of the Abstract Expressionist painters, not just the concepts of their work. What got passed down along with the art history was the Modern American version of the myth of the tormented artist. The same mythology has been used in mental health.

"At the mercy of her moods" was a very 19th century expression. That phrase along the the term "hysteric" was often used as justification for why a woman could not achieve or do certain things. Emotion and mood were used to keep women from equal status with men as they were portrayed as weaknesses instead of the strength that they actually are.

The expressions were also applied to 20th century artists. The implication in all cases remained that the person was somehow taken over; that mood was stronger than their ability to handle it. It was someone of a sensitive, delicate, and susceptible personality who was prone to these episodes, illnesses, or disorders. The literature about artists in the 19th and 20th century is replete with these concepts.
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Bipolar

The Most Important Thing To Know During Bipolar Episodes

Bipolar disorder is an incredibly complex condition. It can be approached from so many angles that you might specialize in any one of them. Unfortunately, most of the specialized approaches will do you no good when in the throes of an intense mania or depression. The only thing that matters at that point is whether your specialty is knowing how to function during the state.

I find many of the points of view about bipolar disorder to be immensely interesting. The biological aspects are fascinating; the research that has looked at the inner workings of the brain, the electrical and chemical reactions within it, and the influence of external substances is fascinating. Researchers have found some truly amazing things through that approach and it has made a huge difference in many peoples lives. But there are so many other approaches that I find just as interesting and have proven equally fruitful.

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Bipolar

The Gifts of Depression

I have been trying to let everyone know that it is possible to find value in all states, including depression. The following was written by Margaret Miller and it so captured what I have been trying to say that I asked her if I could share it. I hope you love it as much as I do.

Manic-depression left a decisive scar across generations of my family. For each of us who bears that mark, moods have conferred advantage, as well as disability. I don’t mean the energy of hypomania. That’s a fun enough ride, while it lasts. But it’s nothing compared to the unexpected and enriching gifts of depression, like patience, humility, insight, and empathy.
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Bipolar

Confusing How and Why Is Prolonging The Suffering in Bipolar Disorder

Do you suffer from bipolar disorder or know someone who does? If you want to end all suffering you need to understand the difference between why and how. The reason so many people are still suffering is because this difference has not been made clear enough.

Why do people go to a psychiatrist? To end the suffering. Why do they go to a therapist? To end the suffering. Why do they engage in any treatment regimen? To end the suffering. We don't go there for medicine, for therapy, or for any of the other tools that we are given. We go there in hopes that they can help us remove the suffering.

And we didn't go there seeking remission for mania or depression. We went there to remove the suffering. We were told, though, that remission and the tools that aim to produce remission is the way to do it.

Does remission work? Perhaps temporarily. But in the end we must admit that the answer is no. And that is the conclusion of the biggest research on bipolar disorder ever conducted by the National Institute Of Mental Health. The research is called STEP-BD and this is what they say: "
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We Are Capable Of Far More Than The Limitations Most People Accept

Do you have bipolar disorder or know somebody who does? What would change if you could learn how to turn depression and mania on and off whenever you wanted to? The entire way we look at bipolar disorder would change in profound ways. Some of them are beyond most people’s imagination, but a simple illustration will help you to see why some of us say bipolar is an advantage that we do not want to give up.
Please understand that I am not talking about people who do not know how yet say “snap out of it” or any other offensive phrase, but the actual ability to do it which is an incredibly advanced skill.
I have been openly sharing my journey and exploration of the possibilities with bipolar for over 10 years now. It seems that sometimes I push the boundaries a bit too far and am met with pretty hostile pushback. This is a dilemma for me because I want to help others but I am afraid that this time it may be perceived once again as going too far. Nonetheless I have been thinking about and working on this idea for the better part of this year and I feel it is the most significant breakthrough that I have made so far in my understanding of bipolar.
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Bipolar

Robin Williams’ Depression and Suicide

Robin Williams killed himself yesterday. I tried to kill myself August 8th of 2005 so I know perhaps a little bit about how he felt. My best friend Santiago killed himself in November 2005 so I also know what it feels like for those who are left behind to sort it out.
I have been contacted by several people since the news of Robin Williams' suicide. His action has brought up a lot of painful memories and they wanted to reach out and talk about it. I read this morning that Robin hung himself and that's the same thing Santiago did, so I feel compelled to reach out too.

I have often heard that we should process the pain so that it eventually goes away. But I don't think it actually works that way. I think we become comfortable with the pain while it gets covered over by recent experiences, yet it remains for the rest of our lives.
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Bipolar

X-Men: Days of Future Past Explores Bipolar Disorder

I have long argued that the X-Men movies are a great metaphor for bipolar disorder. When X-Men: The Last Stand came out I wrote an article about how the X-Men’s struggle to control their “super powers” are analogous to our struggles with mania and depression. When the newest movie came out I was hoping to see further evidence in support of my ideas and was not disappointed.

There are so many parallels between X-Men: Days of Future Past and bipolar conditions that I could write several articles about them, but I want to just briefly mention a few and then focus in on the one that I find the most meaning in. The movie mentions meds, genetics, and mental difficulties, but the parallels to my own views on depression is uncanny.
Meds
Medication plays a central role in the movie. Hank uses a special formula to control his tendency to turn into “the beast.” Based on that formula, Hank creates a different version for the young Charles Xavier to use to control his condition. Young Charles takes too much and loses his ability to function at all. The parallel to common experience with psych meds is pretty obvious.
Later in the movie, young Charles tells Eric that the meds help him to walk. Eric mocks him for trading his power for the ability to walk and young Charles responds that he takes meds because it helps him sleep. The way he says it indicates that without the meds his life is unbearable.
Genetics
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