Love your self. It’s a common refrain.

One way to interpret this is loving who you are—accepting yourself just as you are, warts and all; having compassion for your shortfalls, while rejoicing in your gifts. Loving ourselves in this way relieves us of much self-judgment and self-criticism.

We can also love ourselves at a deeper emotional level. We can take that feeling of love, which dwells in our hearts, the feeling that we often connect with loving someone else, and allow it to flow towards ourselves. In this case we are not loving our manifest selves, with all their various qualities, we are simply experiencing love for our self. Culturing such feelings of self-love brings deep ease and relief.

The conventional understanding of forgiveness is of some absolution or pardon: “I know you did wrong, but I’ll overlook it this time.” But the original meaning of forgiveness is very different. The ancient Greek word for forgiveness is aphesis, meaning “to let go.” When we forgive others, we let go of the judgments we may have projected onto them. We release them from all our interpretations and evaluations, all our thoughts of right or wrong, friend or foe.

Instead, we see that they are human beings caught up in their own illusions about themselves and the world around them. Like us, they feel the need for security, control, recognition, approval, or stimulus. They, too, probably feel threatened by people and things that prevent them from finding fulfillment. And, like us, they sometimes make mistakes. Yet, behind all these errors, there is another conscious being simply looking for peace of mind.

In one sense, we are always in the present. Everything we experience is an experience in this moment.

Our memories of the past are experiences in the present. So are our thoughts about the future.

When people talk about not being present, they are usually referring to the attention not being in the present moment. When our attention is caught up in our thoughts about the past or the future, and we are no longer so aware of what is happening now.

Unfortunately, most of us spend too much of our time thinking about past and future events. We savor past delights, rejoice in past achievements, ponder whether or not we did the right thing, grieve over past losses and disappointments, get angry about the way things turned out. Or we anticipate future delights, plan our best course of action, worry about what might go wrong, fear not being in control of a situation, anguish over how others might respond.

Most of this thinking is unnecessary; a waste of time and energy. Moreover, it makes the mind tense, which is the very opposite of what all this thinking is trying to achieve—an easier, more peaceful state of mind.