How do you make purchasing decisions? Are you aware of your “moment” of choice, the “click” in the brain, to buy or not to buy? What happens in the moments before your hand reaches for your debit card, cash or credit card?

I began exploring how I make purchasing decisions and became fascinated with my own process in relation to the new field of neuroeconomics, the field of studying the brain circuits behind the financial choices people make!

Take the four-foot head of the Buddha that hangs on the towering wall in my foyer. I looked and looked for a wall piece like this for over two years. I started out with an idea of what I wanted. Something serene, spiritual and a piece of art that spoke to my soul. I began the hunt. I searched the net, visited galleries and many specialty stores. I found nothing that was “just right.” Then, unexpectedly, during the wine and art festival in my hometown, I found it. The moment I saw the Buddha head, I fell in love with it and I knew it was the perfect piece of art I was looking for. My purchase decision took less than a minute and cost didn’t enter into the picture. My “knowing it was the right piece” trumped cost. Then rationalized thought came in, “You will not find another piece that speaks to you so strongly, buy it now, it might not be here later and you will figure out how to make the cost work.” When I reached for my cash and then asked how much it was, I was totally surprised that the cost was under $300. If it had been over $1,000, I still would have bought it. I knew it was the “right” piece.

YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST PAY CASH AND DON’T GO INTO DEBT

My dad’s mantra has always been: “credit cards are the ruination of this country.” After I moved out to California in the early 80s, I racked up $30,000 worth of personal revolving credit card debt with nothing to show for it. This led me to asking my parents to help me with cash flow because I was behind on some bills. My parents were upset I was in debt. After all, they role-modeled a cash economy in our home. I wasn’t the type of person who learned from listening to others. I learn best by experiencing my own consequences. That Christmas, my dad sent me a beautifully wrapped present, fancy gold plated scissors … with a note that said, “Merry Christmas! This is for cutting up your credit cards! I love you. Dad”

From there forward, I learned how to live on the money I earned and started a “savings” habit to buy what I wanted! Using credit cards gave me the illusion I had more to spend than I actually had. Living on a cash basis forced me to make better decisions that involved setting priorities and holding better financial boundaries.

Following are fear-busting strategies you can begin to use immediately!

Plan and Prepare

Planning and preparing for something ahead of time reduces fear by diminishing the element of surprise. Front end planning helps you develop strategies for overcoming obstacles before you encounter them. Such is the case whether you are planning monthly cash flow or a longer term view.

Train Your Mind to Focus on Gains Not Losses

Uncertainty exists in all our lives. Each uncertain situation can be viewed from a perspective of gains or losses or somewhere in between. What you choose to anticipate or focus on (gains or losses) creates an internal feeling state. Feeling follows thought.

The faded childhood scars on my knees hold memories of me learning how to ride a bike minus the training wheels. If I look hard enough, I can still see embedded gravel under the skin. When I used to fall, it never occurred to me to wash off my cuts. I would just hop back on my bike, let the blood run down my leg until the cuts stopped bleeding and keep on going. It wasn’t until after the ride that I actually felt the stinging pain of the cut, when my mom would apply a concoction of hydrogen peroxide, alcohol and the antiseptic mercurochrome.

Whether it was riding my bike, roller skating or skiing, I always felt a comfort in falling down sooner rather than later. The men in my family (my dad and his seven brothers) taught me the art of how to fall down with minimal impact to the body. They taught me that falling down was just a part of the process in learning anything new and it was how one landed that was important. The intensity and quality of the landing could make it easier or more difficult to get back up.

Six months ago, two of my doctors turned up the flame of encouragement in strongly motivating me to lose about 30 pounds. “You won’t have to go on cholesterol medicine,” one said. “You can delay a hip replacement,” the other said. I’m half way to my goal…and guess what? The exact same process that helps one stabilize cash flow, eliminate debt and build wealth helps one lose weight! The same process for being rich and thin? Here it is!

Step 1: The Shift From Vagueness to Clarity

If you are one of my clients, you know this is the first concept we work on. How can you change anything until you are clear about what behaviors you are practicing, with food or money. Just as I have you track your cash flow to see where it’s going, I tracked my food and calories to see what I was taking in. My eyes bulged out when I saw that I was taking in 2500-3000 calories a day. I had no idea all the grazing I did added up. Just like many have no idea how all the little dollar amounts they spend add up to big numbers. It is empowering to take one’s head out of the sand, to acknowledge what is and then begin to step into the power of conscious choice.

Step 2: Stay Conscious and Aware Daily

Weight research studies tell us that (for people who are like me and stress eat) it’s best to weigh oneself daily with “relaxed awareness.” Make friends with the scale, make friends with your checkbook register. They both have important information to share. Knowing our daily weight number helps us make better food choices in the day. Knowing our daily checking account balance helps us make better spending choices in the day. Better food choices support weight loss. Better spending choices support a plumper bank account!

Step 3: Prioritize Needs

First, Wants SecondLogically, our frontal lobe knows that paying the rent or mortgage trumps buying a flat screen TV. Paying the utility bill trumps buying that new outfit.  The same is true for food choices, balanced meals come before dessert. Protein trumps sugar. Easier …