A recent post on this blog, by Peter Russell, discussed ways to be present, and finished with mention of a ‘witness’ mode of life. What follows is my own experience of that mode, which I wrote today before seeing Peter’s essay; that my topic is the same as his is either an odd coincidence or a sign of the times.

The witness inside us all goes by many names, including the observer, the true self, and simply consciousness. Quakers call it the still, small voice within. Although I’ve known it was there, I discounted this part of myself for many years.

Like everyone, probably, I am frequently aware of my mistakes even as I make them. Often, when I’m about to do something ill-advised, an inner voice will comment: “That’s a dumb move, but you’re going to make it anyway, aren’t you?” Long ago, back when I still consumed alcohol, I would watch myself pour another drink, knowing full well that my behavior was already edging out of bounds. Or I would say something unkind to a lover, knowing that it was uncalled for and would lead to a big blow-up. This observing part of my mind has always been wise, but until recently it remained largely passive. It seldom took the reins and averted disaster. As a result, I disregarded the watcher within. It seemed like a prudish and annoying sibling, quick to point out my folly but slow to assist. Only recently did I recognize that this watcher is my truest and strongest self.

In one sense, we are always in the present. Everything we experience is an experience in this moment.

Our memories of the past are experiences in the present. So are our thoughts about the future.

When people talk about not being present, they are usually referring to the attention not being in the present moment. When our attention is caught up in our thoughts about the past or the future, and we are no longer so aware of what is happening now.

Unfortunately, most of us spend too much of our time thinking about past and future events. We savor past delights, rejoice in past achievements, ponder whether or not we did the right thing, grieve over past losses and disappointments, get angry about the way things turned out. Or we anticipate future delights, plan our best course of action, worry about what might go wrong, fear not being in control of a situation, anguish over how others might respond.

Most of this thinking is unnecessary; a waste of time and energy. Moreover, it makes the mind tense, which is the very opposite of what all this thinking is trying to achieve—an easier, more peaceful state of mind.

Following are fear-busting strategies you can begin to use immediately!

Plan and Prepare

Planning and preparing for something ahead of time reduces fear by diminishing the element of surprise. Front end planning helps you develop strategies for overcoming obstacles before you encounter them. Such is the case whether you are planning monthly cash flow or a longer term view.

Train Your Mind to Focus on Gains Not Losses

Uncertainty exists in all our lives. Each uncertain situation can be viewed from a perspective of gains or losses or somewhere in between. What you choose to anticipate or focus on (gains or losses) creates an internal feeling state. Feeling follows thought.

Evolutionary biologists question whether there is any such thing as true altruism. The problem is that most, if not all, natural selection operates on the level of individual fitness. It is therefore difficult to see how genes for genuine self-sacrifice could survive the dispassionate fact that if you give up your resources (or life) for a stranger, you help someone else reproduce at the expense of your own chances to leave offspring. Any gene that promotes truly self-sacrificing behavior will tend to be eliminated due to diminished reproduction, unless it promotes self-sacrifice in the other guy. This seemingly bleak conclusion accounts for some of the uneasiness that the theory of natural selection provokes in religious circles. They fear degradation of moral principles if altruism is demonstrated to be an illusion. That fear seems misplaced, in my opinion, but the source and value of selfless behavior warrants consideration.

Long ago, a girlfriend’s grandmother opened my eyes to a rather cold-hearted view of generosity. A Belgian aristocrat, she had ideas quite foreign to my liberal Californian values. She believed that even when people behave charitably, they primarily do it to make themselves feel better. These do-gooders only look selfless; in reality, they are self-righteous and self-congratulatory. She argued that empathy is merely disguised pity, and that generosity is nothing but a tool for ego-inflation.

Even though the concept of altruism faces these challenges, we cannot deny that it is one of the cornerstones of humane behavior. Must we discard the widespread belief that good people act selflessly, and conclude that in reproductive and/or emotional terms, those who appear to sacrifice themselves actually accrue net benefits?