Plasticity and Habits of Mind
This post is being written as I fill in at the local Suicide Hot Line. As I planned this essay, knowing where I’d be writing it, the topic of suicide naturally suggested itself to me. But after giving it more thought, I decided to write about something a little less depressing.
A book I’m currently reading, Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson, explains that dwelling on negative memories and feelings strengthens them. If we habitually focus on unhappy topics, and especially if we simultaneously harbor unpleasant emotions, then we increase the neural circuits that promote misery. The converse is also true: dwelling on happy topics and pleasant feelings leads to brain changes that foster contentment.
My goal these days is to improve my mental balance, and spend less time obsessed with depressing topics. Since my childhood was loaded with trauma and my adulthood has brought huge disappointments, negativity is already well entrenched in my brain. It will take the rest of my life to build in enough positive memory and feeling to counterbalance that burden of loss. Reliving my suicidal feelings and remembering the suicides of loved ones seem like counterproductive exercises. They can wait for some future day; no doubt depression will eventually descend despite my best efforts, and such subjects will be on my mind already.


