Yesterday was a good day, a very good day actually. I got very excited about something, even did a little song and dance for the boyfriend when he got home. And when I feel like that, it feels a lot like how it feels sometimes when I am entering mania. Everything just feels so good and exciting. Untamable. I am a 32 year old woman and I still jump up and down when I am excited – and when I am manic.
So what do I do when I feel like I did yesterday? I try to stop and think things through. Is there a reason why I am giddy? Is there a reason to be super happy? What is going on in my life to make me feel that way?
Sometimes the answer is simple – someone I was hoping to hear from got back to me. Sometimes I am just in a good mood. But I get suspicious when I am in too good a mood for no special reason.
I’ve been beautifully bipolar for a few years now. Most of the time I can catch mania at its inception. Not to say it doesn’t sometimes blow up into a full blown episode, but I can tell when it is starting. That is helpful because I can alert my support system. They can keep an eye on me, check in on me, and just try to keep me out of trouble.
Yesterday I was not manic, I was happy and it was wonderful to feel so good for an actual reason instead of chemicals in my brain going haywire. Again. Because with mania that good feeling eventually gives way to irritability and confusion.
I just have to remember that it is okay to have a wonderful day without worrying about mania and doctors and the whole nine yards. As long as I check in with myself, or even with my support system, to rule out mania, I am free to bounce around like a little kid.
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Last reviewed: 19 Nov 2013