I Have Scars

I have not been kind to my body. There was a time when I would obsessively cut - more an OCD thing than wanting to feel pain.

The inside of my left wrist, well, sometimes it disgusts me. There are dozens of vertical lines, some...
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General

Support Groups

We "differently minded" folk (aka mentally ill or whatever you choose to call it) need friends, just like everyone else. We need an alliance. We need to know that we are not the only ones out there dealing with these problems or moods or side effects. We need to know we aren't alone.

Thanks to the Internet we can find forums and Facebook groups full of others like us, but I...
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General

Caring For A Friend Who Is Mentally Ill

I met a guy when last I was an inpatient in the psych ward. He was courteous, funny, and artistic. I was only there a week, but halfway through the week I knew we would be forever friends.

Last Saturday I drove to meet him at his military base. We drove back to Nashville. He bought an acoustic guitar. He played for me. He has 9 guitars in Maine where he is from, but...
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General

Pride and The Fall

Isn't it said that "First comes pride, then the fall?" I feel like my life is quite the opposite. I've written a memoir, "There Comes A Light: A Memoir of Mental Illness," and in it I fall - over and over again. I am mentally ill. I think irrationally. I make a fool of myself. I suffer.

And I took all that, all those moments that in the moment I didn't think I...
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General

Support my memoir (and me)!

I think birthday's scare me. Most "incidents" have happened around a birthday. My sister's, my mom's, my own. Why is that? Why do I get all miffed around birthdays? I do not know.

But over the years, piece by piece, sentence by sentence, word by word, I accrued what has become one of both the hardest to write and the hardest to read - my memoir: There Comes a Light.

I believe this book paints...
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General

the PSYCH ward

I promised in my last post to tell you about my 5 day stay in the Psych Ward in Madison, TN.

First of all they pissed me off making me wait hours to get up to my floor. I had to talk to a psych doc virtually. He asked the wrong questions and was totally stiff. Good times.

So, I finally got to my floor - Unit A. There, I quickly lost my...
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Bipolar

MIA= MENTAL ILLNESS ATTACK

Hi, readers. I want to apologize for my absence. I had no use of a computer, because, you see, I tried to kill myself Saturday night a week ago.

I honestly don't understand what happened, but it was the same thing that brought me to my years ago.

All day Saturday I was manic. Super happy. Talking too much and too fast. Etc. Then the dark of night came and I decided to take...
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General

World Bipolar Day and What Bipolar Means To Me

Hi. I am ElainaJ and I have bipolar 1 with psychosis. That means that sometimes I see or hear things that aren't really there. I do not have schizoaffective disorder. I do not have schizophrenia. I have bipolar 1 - with psychosis. A lot of people don't know that people with bipolar disorder can experience hallucinations. Well, we can. Not all the time, often this occurs during mania. I think,...
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Do What You Can

I used to do so much. I was an editor of a lifestyle magazine and managed all that and attended functions like art balls, gallery opening, restaurant opening, happy hours, store openings. If it was going down in Austin, I was probably there.

Then I tacked on a weekly fashion trend spot on a commercial radio station for over 2 years.

Then I snagged a fashion trend TV gig.

Then I moved...
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