Bipolar

Trembling Hands

About a month ago my psychiatrist prescribed for me Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin is an antidepressant. I needed a little "umph." I had just been hit hard by the devastating blow of a break-up of a long-term, serious needed help.

I already take Prozac, mainly for the purpose of helping me out with my anxiety and OCD, but it no doubt helps with bipolar depression. Anyway, we added the Wellbutrin. I was told to watch out...
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Coping Skills

“You were meant for amazing things.”

Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. I am not afraid of the number or the fact that I am getting older or that more and more wisdom highlights seem to appear on my head every month. (Thank God for Revlon hair color)!

But if you follow this blog you know that the past month has been extremely hard. I've handled it better than I expected, but there were still slip-ups. I behaved, for the most...
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General

Starting Over

When you have a mental illness it seems like you are always starting over, both in little and big ways. You start a new medication regime and are forced to deal with all the side effects that come along with it. You get a new therapist or psychiatrist and it is like you have to start from the very beginning all over again. You are released from the hospital into, perhaps, a different living arrangement...
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General

Dealing with Surprise Stressors

I took a break. This break-up is akin to a divorce. We've been together 6 years in July and have lived together for almost 4 & 1/2 years. This isn't just a break-up; this is devastating. So I had to get away. I live in Virginia and went to northern North Carolina to visit family for a week. It was good. I slept better. I put it in the back of my mind. I stopped...
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General

Depression and Eating 


There is a relationship between depression and eating. If you suffer from, or have suffered from a bout of depression, you know what I am talking about.

For me this time, it is the lack of desire to eat, the inability to make a decision on what to eat, and simply not wanting, nor having, the energy to fix something. I believe this may happen because your other feelings outweigh your desire to eat. You are...
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General

Depression is Hard


Depression is hard, like, really, really hard. For me it is the worst part of being beautifully bipolar. You've seen the commercials or read the pamphlets that tell you that one of the signs of depression is loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities. Let me tell you, folks, that ain't no joke. I have the motivation to do absolutely nothing. I don't want to watch television or a movie. I don't want to read....
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General

Take Advantage of Your Support System


As you may have already read, I am going through a major break-up. Not fun for anyone, but dangerous for those of with unsteady minds.

I just wanted to say how important your support system is in the midst of a mental crisis. In a previous post I told you how my therapist made time to see me - that was only because I TOLD her something was wrong. If I hadn't left that voice...
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Bipolar

World Bipolar Day 2015

Today is World Bipolar Day, a day when we respect all those who live with this illness. I wanted to make this post a good one, one worth your time to read, so I thought the best thing I could do is explain my illness from the inside out.

I was diagnosed in the fall of 2008 when a smart psychiatrist asked all the right questions to come up with the right answer....
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General

“Change the Playlist.”

I woke up today and I wasn't happy. I had a lunch date with my favorite Virginian friend, but I wasn't looking forward to it. SLEEP. That is what I wanted instead. Food is frivolous. Friends are frivolous. I needed to hide in my bedcovers until this terrible thing called a "break-up" was over.

That's not how it works. I promise. Food and friends are not frivolous. They are important and imperative.

On the way...
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General

“Put it on the shelf.”

This week has been rough. I can't remember who I talked to on the phone or what I said. My brain is scrambled. If you read my last blog post, you know that my 5 & 1/2 year relationship ended. That is hard. THAT is hard.

My therapist is a saint, really, she is. She came in an hour early just to listen to me tearfully recount the past few days. I told her how he...
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