No doubt you’ve encountered or even read numerous blogs, articles, and/or books that extoll the virtues of optimism. Some research has shown that optimists tend to have better relationships, happier lives, and greater accomplishments. Some authors suggest that you can never be too optimistic and that, by implication, you should worry if you tend toward the pessimistic side of things.

I suppose I should be concerned about all of this hoopla over optimism. You see, as my wife will readily verify, I rather often take a different approach. It’s something that Dr. Julie Norem calls “defensive pessimism.” Sounds sort of awful doesn’t it? Does this mean that I walk around morose and glum and project nothing but doom and gloom? Not at all.

However, I do frequently imagine “worst case scenarios.” I run various “what if” scenarios through my mind such as:

The way you think about things can affect the way you feel. That’s a basic premise of cognitive therapy. Here’s an example. One morning you get to work and realize that you left your iPad at home. You have these thoughts: “Oh no, I forgot my iPad. I’ll never be able to get any work done today. I don’t even have my calendar. I know I have some appointments but I don’t remember when. This is terrible. If my boss finds out about this, he might fire me.”

Well, after that thought you might be pretty anxious.

On the other hand, what if you have these thoughts? “Oh no, I forgot my iPad. What an idiot I am. How can I be so stupid? I should have checked to see that I had everything before I left. Why do I always have to be so stupid?”

Having those thoughts might lead to feeling pretty depressed.

So, Laura responded to my blog on Six Reasons for Not Treating Your Anxiety or OCD with one of her own blogs that may have helped you rethink your “treatment interfering beliefs” in a more productive way. If so, you’re ready to move ahead, right? Well, not quite.

I think it’s also wise to take one more important step. Specifically, I’d like you first to consider accepting where you’re at, problems and all. That’s right; evaluate yourself as acceptable and OK as you are.

Realize that you didn’t ask to have problems with anxiety and OCD. Rather, you have these problems for lots of good reasons. You may have had genes that tilted you in this direction. Or perhaps you experienced one or more traumas. Maybe your parents were overly critical and overbearing. On the other hand, maybe they couldn’t provide the structure you needed as a child. Perhaps you grew up in an unsafe neighborhood. People acquire anxiety and OCD for these reasons and many more. They pretty much never become anxious because they “wanted” to have these problems.

Yet, many clients judge and evaluate themselves very harshly just because they have some problems that they didn’t ask for in the first place. They see themselves as weak, incompetent, and horribly flawed. Thus, they tell themselves that they absolutely MUST overcome their problems. In addition, they should do so quickly and completely.

You read blogs all of the time exhorting you to get treatment for anxiety, OCD, and other emotional problems. But have you heeded that advice and gotten treatment? For many people, the answer is that they haven’t.

You might wonder why that would be the case. After all, if you have a problem, you should venture out and do something about it, right?

I’d like to suggest that if you’ve had significant problems with anxiety or OCD, yet avoided getting treatment for years, you’ve probably done so for some pretty good reasons. And it makes more sense to take a look at your reasons for not seeking treatment than to beat yourself up for not having done something about your problem. There are six major reasons or beliefs we’ve heard people give for avoiding treatment. See if any of these apply to you:

As we approach another New Year, people are writing and talking about the tradition of New Year’s Resolutions. A couple of days ago Chuck wrote a blog about questions you should ask yourself before making a list of resolutions. He promised that I would write a blog about how to go about making your resolutions. Well, I could do that.

For example, be specific and concrete. Don’t say you are going to support world peace—instead, resolve to contribute something to UNICEF, the United Nations fund to help children around the world. And don’t go overboard—like stating that you are planning on working out 5 times a week every week.

What happens when you get a bad cold or the flu? You mess up and then your resolution becomes unobtainable. Many people give up entirely when they experience a small lapse. Instead, make your goal more reasonable such as “I will work out most weeks of the year.”

Now is the time that most people start thinking about what resolutions they want to make for the New Year. But before you undertake that task, you’d be well advised to reflect back on this past year first. You can start by looking at last year’s list of resolutions and reflecting on how things went. Even if you don’t have such a list, you can still ask yourself some questions such as:

Santa Claus is coming to town. He’s making a list and checking it twice. He’s going to find out who’s naughty or nice.

This popular Christmas song is really about how we encourage children to have self-control or engage in moral behavior. The song lets kids know that someone (could be a parent, big brother, the neighbors, the police, a spiritual figure, or Santa Claus) is watching what they are doing. And there will be consequences for their actions—presents for those “good” or “nice” kids and nothing or worse for those who were naughty.

Philosophers have grappled with the reasons people behave the way they do for centuries. What motivates saints and sinners? Do people behave because they want to be good (nice) or because they don’t want to be punished? Well, that depends.

During the holiday season, many people find themselves hosting out of town guests. For the most part, these encounters go smoothly with people generally going out of their way to make those visiting comfortable.

However, for people who tend to be anxious, visiting others can be quite stressful. For those who host, here are some holiday tips for helping people who may worry too much feel welcome and at ease:

A couple of days ago, Laura wrote a blog on how anxiety can morph into panic. Many people experience episodes of mild to moderate panic here and there—a few of the common triggers for such episodes include looming deadlines, upcoming parties, and presentations to work groups. However, some people experience panic at a much more intense level, to the point that they actually develop a full blown Panic Disorder.

True panic attacks of this sort involve anxiety and fear of stunning intensity. The actual attacks usually peak within ten minutes and slowly fade, but it’s common for people to actually think they could die during one of these attacks. Common symptoms of these attacks include:

• Profuse sweating
• Rapid, irregular heartbeat
• Shortness of breath or sense of suffocation
• A sense of unreality or detachment
• Fear of impending death without any real basis
• Nausea
• Fear of losing control or “going insane”
• Trembling and shaking
• Chills and hot flashes
• Dizziness

When such attacks reoccur, the person worries about future attacks, has considerable concerns about the meaning of the attacks, or changes his or her behavior in order to avoid attacks, the odds are that a Panic Disorder is in play. Frequently, but not always, people with Panic Disorder also have Agoraphobia (fears of being in places that would be difficult or highly embarrassing to leave or escape from), but that’s a topic for another blog.

It’s not uncommon for people with anxiety disorders to have episodes of panic. A panic attack is defined as a period of time when a person experiences intense discomfort or fear. Along with that feeling, there is a biological response such as a pounding heart, trembling, dizziness, sweating, nausea, trouble breathing, or chills.

People who have panic attacks frequently describe their experiences as horrible. Some say that they felt like they were dying; others say they thought they were going crazy; some say that they worried about losing control of themselves; still others report that they felt like they were outside of their bodies. It is quite understandable that, after experiencing a panic attack, people want to avoid another one.