Inspiration for the title of today’s blog came from a segment of the Suze Orman show called “Can I Afford it?” By the way, it’s a great show for those who want to learn something about basic personal finance issues. Another really good show for this purpose is called “Till Debt Do We Part.” Check them out. OK, now for the blog…

As I write, we are leaving for a trip this weekend overseas. The weather could be raining and cold or hot and muggy. I planned to start packing today. However, I decided to clean microscopic soap scum off the shower door instead. It feels much better to use a toothbrush to clean those tiny crevices in the shower than to contemplate packing. Nothing like a bit of obsessive compulsive behavior to ward off anxiety!

It’s monsoon season here in New Mexico. We’re finally getting a few afternoon storms. Clouds and rolling sounds of thunder accompany a few spits of rain. Our dog Sadie has suddenly developed brontophobia—a fear of thunder.

I realized that the other day when I was reading and she suddenly jumped up on my lap. Having a 67 pound mound of fur on your lap is pretty attention getting. The newspaper I was reading was shredded in the process.

The public seems to be mesmerized by the Casey Anthony trial and the verdict of not guilty. Frankly, we didn’t follow the trial or much of the media frenzy. We don’t really know anything about Casey’s allegedly dysfunctional family or what really happened to young Caylee.

Psychologists shouldn’t try to diagnose someone they have never met—it’s just not appropriate, ethical, or good practice. However, it does seem pretty likely that Caylee didn’t always have the care and attention that she needed in her short life.

Six million cases of abuse are reported in the US every year. About 5 kids die each day as a result of child abuse. Children are most often abused by a family or household member. We thought that given the attention that the trial has brought to the issues that a review of signs of child abuse would be appropriate. Here are some:

Most of you have seen the news reports on the fires in New Mexico. The Los Conchas Fire that has threatened Los Alamos and the National Labs, is now ranked the biggest forest fire in our history and is only 3 or 4% contained. Although the Las Conchas fire has gotten the most publicity, other fires around the state are also raging, largely out of control.

We are experiencing an incredible drought. In New Mexico we have had less than a quarter inch of rain this year. That’s right, this year!  And the spring winds, which usually stop sometime in the spring, have not yet abated.

But, most forest fires are caused by humans not nature. Although dry and windy conditions lead to the spread of a forest fire, the initial cause is usually a mismanaged camp fire, a tossed cigarette, carelessness, or at times a deliberate attempt to start a fire.

Usually, I like to write about issues that are well grounded in data and evidence. That’s not the case with today’s blog. Maybe someone has data that contradicts what I plan to write, but I’m not so sure. I do know that a clever social psychologist could readily conduct research on this topic. So what am I talking about?

Listening. It seems to me that people hardly listen to each other anymore. More frighteningly, maybe they never have and I’m just becoming more aware of it. Do you agree or see it differently? Before you form a firm opinion, consider observing a while.

Not so long ago, we finished writing Child Psychology and Development For Dummies. We enjoyed writing it and helping parents, teachers, and childcare providers understand how children develop and what makes them tick.

Even though we had separate sections on normal and abnormal development (as most such books do), it occurred to us that this distinction is not as clear-cut as you might think.

That’s for two major reasons:

Yesterday, I read an article in the Albuquerque Journal about what seemed to be a terrific program for the prevention of bullying. The program is called “The Way of the Snail” and focuses on building self-esteem, confidence, “love of self,” and self-control. The program uses a variety of techniques for accomplishing these goals such as looking in the mirror and proclaiming that one sees a beautiful person and learning to hold one’s arms out as long as possible (presumably to teach self-control).

Frankly, I see articles like this one rather often. Schools across the country frequently buy into spiffy sounding curriculums with lofty, noble sounding goals much like investors having a feeding frenzy over the latest hot stock IPO. And what in the world could be wrong with jumping in on new programs designed to help kids to overcome problems and plow through obstacles?

John Rosemond, a nationally syndicated columnist and author of many parenting books, recently wrote an article about step-families. I met John about 10 years ago after he agreed to write a forward for our first book. I like his practical down to earth style and agree with much of what he writes.

His article, “Today’s step-families have little or no sense of family,” concerns the high divorce rate of step-families. John believes that one of the reasons that so many marriages involving blended families end in divorce has to do with confusing and undefined roles in the new family.

He claims that the majority of mental health professionals, including famous media mental health personalities such as Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura (I’m not the famous Dr. Laura), recommend that stepparents stay out of disciplining their stepchildren. John writes that stepparents who follow that advice “create an us-and-them family that isn’t really a family at all.”

Almost a third of children are being brought up by single parents. Lots of those parents date. Concerned single parents worry about how to manage relationships when children are involved. Common questions include:

When do I introduce my child to someone I am dating?

How do I manage an intimate relationship when I have children?

What happens if my relationship ends?