No doubt you’ve encountered or even read numerous blogs, articles, and/or books that extoll the virtues of optimism. Some research has shown that optimists tend to have better relationships, happier lives, and greater accomplishments. Some authors suggest that you can never be too optimistic and that, by implication, you should worry if you tend toward the pessimistic side of things.

I suppose I should be concerned about all of this hoopla over optimism. You see, as my wife will readily verify, I rather often take a different approach. It’s something that Dr. Julie Norem calls “defensive pessimism.” Sounds sort of awful doesn’t it? Does this mean that I walk around morose and glum and project nothing but doom and gloom? Not at all.

However, I do frequently imagine “worst case scenarios.” I run various “what if” scenarios through my mind such as:

Most people, who have more anxiety than they want, work hard to rid themselves of their anxiety. They try relaxation training, meditation, medication, and more, all in a desperate attempt to conquer uncomfortable, distressing feelings. And who can blame them? After all, isn’t that the goal of therapy—to rid yourself of anxiety, uncertainty, doubts, and discomfort once and for all?

Well, yes and no. Of course most therapists would love for you to be able to feel calm, relaxed, and peaceful all of the time. However, that goal isn’t possible for anybody. Life is full of unpredictable, often random, dangers, hassles, and perils. Therefore, if you have the goal of eliminating these things, you will almost certainly fail.

So, Laura responded to my blog on Six Reasons for Not Treating Your Anxiety or OCD with one of her own blogs that may have helped you rethink your “treatment interfering beliefs” in a more productive way. If so, you’re ready to move ahead, right? Well, not quite.

I think it’s also wise to take one more important step. Specifically, I’d like you first to consider accepting where you’re at, problems and all. That’s right; evaluate yourself as acceptable and OK as you are.

Realize that you didn’t ask to have problems with anxiety and OCD. Rather, you have these problems for lots of good reasons. You may have had genes that tilted you in this direction. Or perhaps you experienced one or more traumas. Maybe your parents were overly critical and overbearing. On the other hand, maybe they couldn’t provide the structure you needed as a child. Perhaps you grew up in an unsafe neighborhood. People acquire anxiety and OCD for these reasons and many more. They pretty much never become anxious because they “wanted” to have these problems.

Yet, many clients judge and evaluate themselves very harshly just because they have some problems that they didn’t ask for in the first place. They see themselves as weak, incompetent, and horribly flawed. Thus, they tell themselves that they absolutely MUST overcome their problems. In addition, they should do so quickly and completely.

A couple of days ago, Chuck wrote about why some people either believe they can’t get better or decide not to get treatment for their anxiety or OCD. Some readers had other ideas like having no money or not having access to good cognitive behavioral therapy.

Here are six ideas for overcoming such obstacles to change:

1. Money. Many people lack the financial resources for getting help. Some people can’t afford therapy at all, others have medical insurance that doesn’t cover mental health in a comprehensive way.

   Try contacting the nearest college or university. Most colleges have psychology clinics that have well supervised upper level students or graduate students work with clients in order to gain experience. Costs for such services are often modest and most use a sliding scale. Community mental health agencies also use sliding scales to charge for services.

   Continue reading… »

You read blogs all of the time exhorting you to get treatment for anxiety, OCD, and other emotional problems. But have you heeded that advice and gotten treatment? For many people, the answer is that they haven’t.

You might wonder why that would be the case. After all, if you have a problem, you should venture out and do something about it, right?

I’d like to suggest that if you’ve had significant problems with anxiety or OCD, yet avoided getting treatment for years, you’ve probably done so for some pretty good reasons. And it makes more sense to take a look at your reasons for not seeking treatment than to beat yourself up for not having done something about your problem. There are six major reasons or beliefs we’ve heard people give for avoiding treatment. See if any of these apply to you:

Human beings are graced with having minds that can use language and thoughts to learn from the past and anticipate future events. How glorious! We can actually manage to read about various threats, calamities, and hazards—and sometimes actually prevent them from happening or minimize their effects when they do.

Therefore, we can substantially reduce a variety of risks by learning to drive the speed limit, use seat belts, avoid excessive sun exposure, avoid known toxins, engage in regular exercise, and eat healthy.

All of these things are great to do. Unfortunately, humans also have a habit of taking things too far. We exaggerate our minds’ ability to predict the future and prevent what we fear from happening. For example, some people refuse to consider locating to the southwest (including our lovely part of the country New Mexico) because they are afraid of snakes. Well in the 25 years of my residency, I’ve only seen two snakes and I walk or jog quite frequently. The chances of actually getting bit by a snake are extremely unlikely—much less than getting hit by a car or having a heart attack.

A couple of days ago, Laura wrote a blog on how anxiety can morph into panic. Many people experience episodes of mild to moderate panic here and there—a few of the common triggers for such episodes include looming deadlines, upcoming parties, and presentations to work groups. However, some people experience panic at a much more intense level, to the point that they actually develop a full blown Panic Disorder.

True panic attacks of this sort involve anxiety and fear of stunning intensity. The actual attacks usually peak within ten minutes and slowly fade, but it’s common for people to actually think they could die during one of these attacks. Common symptoms of these attacks include:

• Profuse sweating
• Rapid, irregular heartbeat
• Shortness of breath or sense of suffocation
• A sense of unreality or detachment
• Fear of impending death without any real basis
• Nausea
• Fear of losing control or “going insane”
• Trembling and shaking
• Chills and hot flashes
• Dizziness

When such attacks reoccur, the person worries about future attacks, has considerable concerns about the meaning of the attacks, or changes his or her behavior in order to avoid attacks, the odds are that a Panic Disorder is in play. Frequently, but not always, people with Panic Disorder also have Agoraphobia (fears of being in places that would be difficult or highly embarrassing to leave or escape from), but that’s a topic for another blog.

We all feel anxiety. Anxiety is normal and can be very useful. For example, last summer we were walking our dogs down by an irrigation ditch in Corrales and Chuck suddenly grabbed my arm and spun me around. The dogs followed—obediently. My first feeling was annoyance, but as I looked back at a snake slithering across the path, my physical response was quick.

I was alert and aware of the snake behind us. I distinctly heard a rattle as we moved quickly and silently away. I was not thinking, only acting.

It’s not uncommon for people with anxiety disorders to have episodes of panic. A panic attack is defined as a period of time when a person experiences intense discomfort or fear. Along with that feeling, there is a biological response such as a pounding heart, trembling, dizziness, sweating, nausea, trouble breathing, or chills.

People who have panic attacks frequently describe their experiences as horrible. Some say that they felt like they were dying; others say they thought they were going crazy; some say that they worried about losing control of themselves; still others report that they felt like they were outside of their bodies. It is quite understandable that, after experiencing a panic attack, people want to avoid another one.

Next week is Thanksgiving—a time of reflection, gratitude, and for many people, stress. That’s how I was feeling this afternoon at the grocery store. I stopped there after a busy day of work to pick up a chicken breast and a bag of salad greens for dinner tonight. The parking lot was full and the lines were unusually long. I realized that some of the shoppers were stocking up for Thanksgiving. I started to worry that although we’re having a lot of people over, I haven’t even started to plan, clean, or even consider what I would need to do. Then I realized that I hadn’t written a blog today. And that how could I possibly stand in this long line, drive home, cook, and even be able to think, let alone write?

Here I am at the computer. The chicken breast is waiting for the oven to heat and I am trying to calm down. I know of three interventions that help with anxiety and stress; mindfulness, behavior changes, and cognitive changes.

I think I’ll try mindfulness. I will become in touch with the present moment. Well, my respiration is a little fast, I’m feeling a little stomach upset. My back is a bit sore from sitting and working on a report most of the day. My neck hurts too. I really need to write this blog and cook dinner. Well, I guess this mindfulness isn’t working out for me right now.