If you have school aged children, it’s pretty likely that they have been exposed to some of the disturbing news of these past few weeks. We often get questions from worried parents on how to handle the realities of danger with their kids. If you’re a regular reader of our blogs or books, you already know how reassurance can backfire and make kids (or adults) more fearful.

For example, if your seven year-old daughter continuously asks if an earthquake could ever happen where you live, it’s not a good idea to bombard her with messages that “nothing like that could ever happen.” Not only is the reassurance not true, it also fails to teach her to cope with her own anxiety. And it even fuels the very insecurity that led to the question in the first place.

So, especially if you live on the west coast in the United States, telling your kids not to worry about a possible earthquake is pretty foolish. Nor do we don’t think it’s a great idea to tell your kids that the chances of a big earthquake are very high and there’s not much anyone can do. As in most things in life, moderation and open communication are the keys. When kids ask why, it’s okay to provide information about the wonders and power of nature.

Talk to your children about their worries. If you live in an area that is likely to face some type of natural disaster, learn about the risks, prepare for the possibility, and make a family plan for emergencies. Involve the kids. You can go to www.ready.gov/america for ideas.

The bottom line: Give kids realistic information at a level they can understand. Make reasonable preparations for potential dangers and involve your children by informing them about what you’re doing. But try to avoid the all too common error of telling them nothing bad can ever happen.

It’s important for kids to grapple with the certainty that life is full of uncertainties. If your child’s life appears to be dominated by fears and worries, it’s probably a good idea to seek a consultation with a mental health professional. Take care…

Photo by Martin Luff, available under a Creative Commons attribution license.

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    Last reviewed: 29 Mar 2011