Sam, a 5th grader, hates school. He cries and complains to his mother, pretends that he’s sick, and if forced to go to school is simply miserable. It seems to be getting worse every day. When he does go to school, Sam rarely finishes his work. His teacher threatens loss of recess and he doesn’t respond. On the playground, he’s usually in some far off corner with a baseball cap pulled down across his face.
Sam’s mother and teacher talk frequently. They have tried giving him rewards for going to school without complaining and for finishing his assignments at school. They’ve asked him repeatedly why he is behaving the way he is. The teacher and mom are puzzled that he loves to read and learn at home but shuts down completely at school. And Sam’s first years in school were great; he seemed happy and kept up without problems. Now, nothing seems to motivate him. Worried that he may be developing some sort of school phobia, his mother makes an appointment with a counselor to get to the bottom of Sam’s troubles.
Sam does not talk much with the counselor during the first few sessions. The counselor patiently waits for Sam to begin to trust him and spends the time in session talking about Sam’s interests in geology especially volcanoes. As Sam begins to relax and enjoy his sessions, the counselor gently probes for information about Sam’s days at school.
What the counselor finds out does not surprise him. Sam has been the victim of sly bullying since the beginning of the school year. He has been repeatedly punched, had his school work ripped up, and been called names. He’s shut down and suffering. Sam was afraid to tell his teacher or mother because the bullies told Sam that they would beat him up if he told.
About half of all school children are bullied at one time or another. Bullying can lead to anxiety, depression, and even suicide. If your child or someone you care about shows signs of being unhappy at school, has falling grades, or becomes secretive, make sure that you investigate or get help.
“Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me,” the saying we all remember as children is not always true. For more information on Bullying, for adults and children, go to http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/
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Prof.Lakshman (January 4, 2010)
From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (January 5, 2010)
Last reviewed: 4 Jan 2010