The topic of today’s blog is personal. And it’s likely to affect many folks who receive shiny, brand new computers over the holidays. So we now whimsically share a few of our thoughts about this important topic.

Chuck and I spend hours every day in front of the computer. Just since starting to write For Dummies books, we’ve written over 2,000 book pages (and ask any For Dummies’ writer–each page has lots of words!). In addition to writing books, we write articles, psychological reports, blogs, prepare presentations, and answer thousands of emails.

Here and there over the years one of us has closed a file too rapidly, inadvertently hit a delete button, or experienced system screw ups that send our work into cyberspace. Like that single sock that somehow disappears in the dryer, a chapter, page, paragraph, or word vanishes, never to be found again. And when we lose work, our minds often start churning out unhelpful thoughts such as:

• We’ll never be able to finish on time!
• What was that sentence?
• How can we be so stupid to close that file without saving it?
• That was the best metaphor we ever thought of-now we can’t remember it!

Just blogging about this makes me anxious. Over the years we’ve used systems that keep our losses small and relative infrequent: online back-ups, external back-ups, back-ups on flash drives. We have several computers that we save our work on and when we are feeling particularly paranoid, we keep CD’s in our cars in case our house is broken into.

About a month ago we noticed our computers were becoming really sluggish and less stable. Time to upgrade. Okay, we told ourselves, let’s try to stay positive. A simple switch to the latest, spiffiest editions of Office and Windows. Well, now it’s 6 weeks later. We have four computers on our desks in various stages of disarray. First, this wasn’t compatible so we needed to do that. We did that and had to do more of this. Then we couldn’t find a product key number on the newest computer. After online help, hours of consultation with our computer guru, chat rooms, phone calls to computer support services, holds, and hang ups, we’re pretty sure that one of our computers is going to explode tomorrow. So, we’re not taking any chances. Maybe we’ll make some more flash drives, take the dogs and stay in a motel so we don’t get injured in the blast. It feels like one of those movie plots where scientists and investigators rush to find the hidden nuclear weapon that’s timed to destroy an entire city within 24 hours.

Stop…take some calming breaths. Let’s use some of our own medicine on ourselves. How would we advise a client to handle this stress? We’d use the cognitive technique of Socratic questioning. Here’s an example of what a dialogue between us and such a therapist might look like:

Therapist: Have you ever handled something like this before?
Us: Yes, once we lost an entire chapter and we both ended up in the emergency room with a panic attacks.
Therapist: What’s the worst that could happen?
Us: We could lose a decade worth of emails, presentations, and work.
Therapist: What might happen if that occurred?
Us: We would never be able to write again, and end up homeless.
Therapist: Do you think you might be catastrophizing? Is it possible that you’d be able to cope with such a situation and move on?
Us: Absolutely not! We could never deal with anything like that. Our thoughts are completely accurate.
Therapist: Obviously cognitive therapy is not going to work on you guys. I think you need many years psychoanalysis.

I guess we weren’t demonstrating a very good response to our therapist’s efforts. So, in truth, we will pull ourselves together and meet this computer challenge with coping rather than victim thinking. We have our health, friends, and family. This small crisis will pass. Our computer will not explode and we have dealt with setbacks many times in the past.

Happy Holidays!
Laura & Chuck

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Prof.Lakshman (December 19, 2009)

From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (December 19, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 19 Dec 2009