School is starting in many areas in the next few weeks. Most kids are excited about the beginning of school. A few kindergarten kids and sometimes even older children will exhibit symptoms of separation anxiety. The main sign of this disorder is extreme anxiety and fear when separated from a caregiver. The symptoms of this disorder vary from child to child but can include:
Separation anxiety can become a very serious problem. Concerned parents hate to see their children suffer. Parents understandably often respond to the first signs of separation anxiety with love and reassurance. When that doesn’t stop the fear, they try firmness, and sometimes nothing seems to work. Separation anxiety can appear in perfectly well adjusted children. A variety of factors likely cause it; some kids seem to be born anxious; sometimes it appears due to changes in the kid’s environment (e.g., moving, divorce, etc.); other times it just pops up seemingly out of nowhere.
My twins were sad and cried a little when I left them at home with a babysitter, but loved preschool and kindergarten. They’d pile out of the car and run full speed into school. But my younger son had separation anxiety when I dropped him off at daycare. I started each day feeling horrible-leaving him as he screamed for me. I knew that I just had to turn the corner and seconds later he’d be off playing with the other kids, but the guilt I felt was more than a little uncomfortable. By the time he was in preschool, the transition was smooth and now he travels all over the world, comfortable in almost any setting.
But not every child outgrows separation anxiety without some treatment. Usually, the school counselor or teacher will have some helpful hints. Some children will benefit from brief psychotherapy (which should involve the parent or caregiver).
Many of the same principles that guide treatment for any anxiety disorder are true for separation anxiety.
1. Make sure that the child is safe (that he is being adequately supervised and not bullied).
2. Make the transition quickly. Don’t have long conversations.
3. Don’t provide reassurance. That only delays the separation and easily increases the amount of anxiety.
4. Decide what the rules are and stick to them (like sleeping in child’s own bed, going to school without a tantrum).
5. Never let a child “win” the battle and stay at home.
6. If the child says that she is too sick to go to school, keep her in bed without her favorite games, toys, or television (so that she can get better).
7. If the problem is severe, get help.
Good luck and happy school days.
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Great post. Some natural anxiety remedies to look into are St.John’s Wort, SAMe, L-Theanine, and Tryptophan. There’s also cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and programs like Panic Away and The Linden Method, to name a few. Hope this helps!
I HAVE A DAUGHTER,SHE WAS AT KINDERGARDEN STARTED SCHOOL TWO WEEKS AGO.I’M STRUGGLING WITH HER IN THE MORNING WHEN I DROP HER AND HER BROTHER.THE TEACHER HAS TO KEEP HER DOWN OTHERWISE SHE JUMPS OVER THE GATE AND RUN IN THE ROAD BUT AFTER A CERTAIN TIME SHE WOULD SETTLE DOWN AND WHEN I PICK THEM UP SHE LIKE A TOTAL DIFFERENT CHILD THAN THE MORNING .SHE PLAYS WITH HER FRIENDS THE AFTERNOON BUT NOT IN THE MORNING.WHY IS THAT AND WHAT SHOULD I DO IN THE MORNINGS.
@collette
Of course I can’t answer a specific questions about a child without seeing her–but what you describe sounds serious. I suggest you talk to the teacher and perhaps the school counselor about a plan. Running into the road is obviously dangerous, so a plan about keeping her safe should be in place. Good luck and take care…
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