"The nail that sticks out the farthest gets hammered the most." ~ Patrick Jones. Bullying is a flaccid word. It doesn't capture the true essence of what really happens to children and adults when someone sets their aim on physically and emotionally doing harm. I prefer words such as torture, human rights violation, crimes against humanity, and inhumane treatment. Any time a life is attacked, denigrated, and a person is reduced to the confines of being an object we have a serious problem.
"You'll never find your limits until you've gone too far." ~ Aron Ralston. Therapy is a common place to find people definitely situated between a rock and a hard place. There simply are those times when neither choice is great or all choices have so many unwanted consequences. Let's look at some of the rock and hard place situations that cause you and most folks considerable angst.
"The meaning of life is related to the quality of the relationships we have with others." ~ Nanette Burton Mongelluzzo. People are prone to relationship upsets. Sometimes they find themselves in quite a fix and feel depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and just plain unhappy. Clearly, there are legitimate times for concern, however, many times the problem is more related to state of mind, unfinished business from another time, or phase of life. Let's look at what happens to love and how it loses its practicality.
"When you come to a roadblock, take a detour." ~ Barbara Bush. What do you do when the distance traveled between two points is not in a straight line? Ah, life's little detours, curves, steep grades, and uphill climbs. Life can be likened to a most interesting and varied road trip. Parents lament when their teen or young adult finds him or herself in trouble with the law or with the abundant variety of drugs to numb whatever feels as though it needs numbing. How do you avoid the panic?
"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." ~ Charles Dickens. In my blog of the same title earlier this week we talked about compassion fatigue and the warning signs you might be at risk for this form of secondary traumatic stress (STS). Today we will look at how to intervene on your own behalf or on the behalf of a professional at risk.
"Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway." ~ Emory Austin. Anyone who has ever cared for another during an illness, following a death, during a mental illness, drug addiction, or any of the many loss scenarios that exist understand that compassion will involve fatigue and stress.
"In the space between chaos and shape there was another chance." ~ Jeanette Winterson. Teenagers are graduating in May and June from high school. This long anticipated date is mixed with emotion. It is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. It is a transition and transitions are dangerous, as well as profound opportunities. Transitions are also part of the path of a teen's life journey.
"I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung I have been thinking a lot about cancer these days. Almost half my caseload has cancer or I see children who have lost a parent to cancer or spouses with a partner with cancer. It seems like cancer is everywhere. Cancer does affect everyone. Grief is an intimate process of a uniquely individual design initiated for the purpose of transitioning loss.
"It was a spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather." ~ Susanna Kaysen. The suicide rates increase as we turn to the warmer months. They amp up in April and reach their peak in May and June. May is a peak month as schools ready to dismiss for the summer months and parents prepare for a different non-academic manner of relating. Warmer months encourage awareness of economic woes.
"Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade." ~ Leo Buscaglia. Abuse knows no rules, no boundaries, and does not take exception with the wealthy or the poor. Abuse doesn't care if you are the clever one, the beauty, or the hunk down the street. Anyone can find themselves in a potentially abusive relationship. Once in one of these relationships it may place you in a trance and you may find yourself unable to extract yourself.