“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” ~ Marianne Williamson.
Many people fear success. They fear what they will lose by succeeding.
Life is made up of many life events strung together like lights on a Christmas tree. The string that holds all of the lights at short or long intervals is loss. Loss hold together all life events. We must give something up in order to gain something new.
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I’ve been saying this for years and actually had therapists look at me like I’m making no sense. Thank you for writing this!
Medical school is hard, but there’s a certain freedom in being a student, because you’re not responsible for real patients yet. The responsibilities of studying and taking exams are minor compared to being responsible for someone’s health or even someone’s life. So, in passing her exams and graduating med school, the student may feel that she will be losing the freedom to be irresponsible sometimes.
Thank you for commenting. I agree with your perspective. A med student gives a lot just on the journey to becoming a physician. Most people don’t have a clue how hard it is. And yes, you give up a type of innocence and protection when you leave school and a residency. There is loss involved. Many thanks for sharing.
I self-published my memoir I CURSED GOD, But He Listened Anyway… I wrote about some family secrets. The people that have read it have shown empathy & compassion, not one negative remark so far. My fear is that I won’t get professional publishing. I’m about to turn 50, so I fear not succeeding in my lifetime or the way I want to succeed, I should say. Desiree Cart Dugas
Thank you for your comment. I am glad that your memoir was received so positively! What would you lose if you did succeed? What would have to change from the way things are? What might be underneath the fear of not succeeding? Just some thoughts. Thank you for posting your comment as I imagine others feel similarly.
My fear of success stems from being successful and receiving praise. I then STOP whatever I was doing and go no further. Sometimes to the point of abandoning the project completely. I fear that if I continue on, and further the project, that I won’t be as successful. Then I will be seen as a failure, a wannabe, a phony. I will simply be laughed at and cast out.
Thank you for your comment! When you STOP and go no further what else do you fear? What will you have to lose to achieve success? Sometimes we fear what we will lose and then don’t go further. You say you fear being seen as a failure, etc.,but what about success is scary? That you will be taken seriously, that you will be in the limelight, that you will be praised, and that you will have a lot of attention and perhaps not know how to deal with the power you have created? Thank you for posting this comment. Many people fear they won’t be successful! Dig a bit deeper, for you!
I am just like soulforart. When I start to do very well at something at work, I choke and don’t finish it right away or even do something to sabotage it. I think I am afraid that I will not be able to continue it and be found out for the fraud I am. At least, that’s what I’ve always thought. If I dig deeper, doing my job well involves spending more time with clients and colleagues, and I am afraid of losing my alone time, which is actually my favorite time, because I love to read more than anything. Could that be it?
Good for you. It might be that losing time alone would be a big loss. Certainly, when one is very successful they lose time alone, at least in the beginning. Then they have to figure out how to bring it back. Does that make sense?
poeple have nicked my money and my life in the music industry
my identerty as to say
they made and make me out that im not the famous remixing dj and why do people pay for a show when they arnt the creater of that perticular thing as to say
they got my sucsses
i carnt lose can i in stead of me getting all that sucsses they the fakes nicked it or did i give it away
ive lost at the begining
karma will bring it all back to me
what can i lose when it whent
bigger and better lol
You raise some interesting points. What if others take your success as their own? Hmm. It is important to learn to protect your creations. If we don’t, then we have given it away. However, I believe we can always turn things around. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
She shouldn’t fear losing her children’s respect or how they see her. In my experience, family members could really care less if you wrote a book or take any time to read it. It’s not just me, by the way, that knows this. Many, many aspiring writers have the primary complaint that they have absolutely no support from friends or family, and no one to give them feedback on their work.
Thank you for your comments. You make some good points. I think peoples fears are, simply, their fears. We don’t want to tell them not to fear what they fear. At least from my perspective I think it helps to help the person understand the fear, rather than remove it. They will remove it when it has become understood. Do you see my point of view on this? Your observations are good ones about writers and no feedback. I have heard that many times. Thank you again.
i wish i had a dime for each time i have asked my wife of 28 years the same question, how much the amount would be is unimportant what i would like to hear from her is something along the lines of my fear of making my mother angry.
up until being told i had for the past 52 years been living with a skull fracture that is about 3/4″ deep into my head i made it my duty to be afraid to allow me to ask myself what ultimately leads you to “know” you are not to ask yourself how strongly was the fear of telling your spheres of ignorance spheres of influence thier thinking practices are in worse shape than yours will ever be. the answer lies in your column, learning to know they too are afraid of thier own thinking and either to lazy to learn a different way or totally indifferent to the misery they inflit on themselves and by virtue of that style on the rest of humanity.
great item, thanks.
I fear losing security if I succeed in going back to work. On disablity I get a regular paycheck and medical. Everytime I’ve tried to go back to work I’ve lost more than I gained.I’m scared now that I’ll lose it all and end up homeless again. Sure I have no money or respect but I do have a measure of secerity. Being homeless now w/ mayor medical problems on top of MI is terrifying.