Archives for PTSD
"I was a wonderful parent before I had children." ~ Adele Faber. I remember when I became a parent. Within the first two years of parenting my child I became aware of this enormous sense of gratitude. My parents had come to visit and on one occasion and I pulled my mother aside. I said, "Thank you." She responded, "For What?" I said, "For not killing any of us children when we were growing up."
"No social problem is as universal as the oppression of the child...No slave was ever so much the property of his master as the child is of his parent...Never were the rights of man ever so disregarded as in the case of the child." ~ Maria Montessori. Principle E asks psychologists to honor the dignity and worth of all people including each person's right to privacy, confidentiality, and self-determination. This is why we have informed consent. Informed consent means that a client was informed regarding services, risks, benefits, costs, limits of confidentiality, and so forth before they agree to become clients or participants in research. The ethical parent understands respect, rights, dignity, and self-determination. Let's take a look at how this applies to parenting.
"In matters of truth and justice, there is no difference between large and small problems, for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same." ~ Albert Einstein. The fourth principle in the APA Code of Ethics concerns justice. We can apply this principle to ethics in parenting. How does justice apply to ethical parenting? Let's take a look.
"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home." ~ Confucius. This is the third blog on an Ethical Code of Conduct for Parents in a series on Ethical Parenting. In this blog we will look at Principle C: Integrity. When we look at integrity in the practice of psychology we are talking about honesty, keeping promises, and adhering to accuracy in our practice with clients of any kind. We work with clinical clients, research participants, and those with whom we offer our skills of consultation or academic guidance. Parents need to operate with integrity as well.
"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn." ~ Benjamin Franklin. This is the second post in a series on parenting and an ethical code for parents and children. In the November 10th post we discussed parenting stress and angst. I introduced a code of ethics for parents and Principle A: Beneficence and Nonmaleficence. Principle A is about doing no harm and choosing to find and do the right thing.
"More inhumanity (to man) has been done by man himself than any other of nature's causes." ~ Sameul von Pufendorf, 1673. Do you ever feel you need a compass or a set of tools to help you navigate through the issues that arise every day as a parent? If so, you are not alone. Parents worry, they fret, they despair, they cry, scream, and yell loudly. Most parents feel alone when it comes to knowing what the right thing is to do.
"A student asked his Zen master how long it would take to reach enlightenment. “Ten years,” the master said. But, the student persisted, what if he studied very hard? “Then 20 years,” the master responded. Surprised, the student asked how long it would take if he worked very, very hard and became the most dedicated student in the Ashram. “In that case, 30 years,” the master replied. His explanation: “If you have one eye on how close you are to achieving your goal, that leaves only one eye for your task.” ~ From Alfie Kohn, A Case Against Grades. This topic has surfaced off and on in recent years. Many parents want their children to evidence success at any cost. Let's look at some of the issues.
"Loss is nothing else but change, and change is nature's delight." ~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations. "To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness." ~ Erich Fromm. Loss permeates the experience of life. It follows us through our lifetime.
"You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward those kinds of killers, the monsters, the enemies. When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how could you not give it? If it were someone you truly loved?"~ Bella Swan. What is a child to do when mommy or daddy abuses, uses, or is dependent on drugs or alcohol?