“There is not any present moment that is unconnected with some future one. The life of every man is a continued chain of incidents, each link of which hangs upon the former. The transition from cause to effect, from event to event, is often carried on by secret steps, which our foresight cannot divine, and our sagacity is unable to trace. Evil may at some future period bring forth good; and good may bring forth evil, both equally unexpected.” ~ Joseph Addison.
Transitions are changes that take place as we move from one place in our life to another. Pregnancy, birth, adolescence, adulthood, marriage, falling in love, aging and death are some of the most well known transitions.
Lesser spoken about transitions include the first day of school, the beginning of soccer practice or music lessons, geographic moves, job changes, break-ups in relationships with friends or lovers, illness, surgery, accidents and more.
Transitions are powerful moments. They are emotional moments, and as such, they are potentially dangerous.
“Your memory is a monster; you forget – it doesn’t. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you – and summons them to your recall with will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!” ~ John Irving, “A Prayer for Owen Meany”
In the last blog on emotional crime scenes, we looked at differentiating. There are many more categories of crime scenes, but let’s take a look at mapping a crime scene and working with, rather than against, your own memory. Memory keeps us safe.
Most of us have memories of childhood. I was in the grocery store today and bought some English muffins. The sweet brunette check-out clerk commented on the muffins, “My mother used to make us a muffin each morning and put cream cheese on it.” She said it was one of her fondest memories.
I commented that it is so nice to recall the nice memories, as sometimes there are those that are not nice. She made eye contact and said, “That’s for sure.” She then looked away quickly as though she didn’t want to stay focused on what was just brought into her conscious mind.
I don’t think people like the sad, hard, or traumatic memories. Why should they like something that stirs the pot of a nicely simmering life? But, as John Irving points out, like it or not, we have to deal with our memories because they are dealing with us.
“I became what I am today at the age of twelve, on a frigid overcast day in the winter of 1975. I remember the precise moment, crouching behind a crumbling mud wall, peeking into the alley near the frozen creek. That was a long time ago, but it’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. Looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty-six years.” ~ Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner.
There are many types of crime scenes. There are innumerable traumas that can and do occur in the lives of all people. Some of these are from nature and freak accidents where no one individual can be held accountable. Others, most others, are accomplished by people against other people.
Let’s take a look at some categories that may help to differentiate between crime scenes.