earsWhat is a pachyderm? Well, “pachy” means “thick,” and “derm” means “skin.” The three most famous pachyderms are the elephant, rhinoceros, and the hippopotamus. Their skin serves them well, preventing them from being bitten. These insects are promoting their own survival; they are not personally going after any particular pachyderm.

Now this is the question, are you thick-skinned? Are you being bitten by other people’s words?

If you are thick-skinned, you don’t feel bothered or get upset when people criticize you. To have thick skin means you do not take other’s actions personally, as a reflection of your worth as a human. Here are a few tips to developing a thick skin:

Don’t take things personally. Sometimes you may need to reframe a person’s bad behavior by remembering that it’s not about you.

1) Catch your self thinking, “this is what you should do”
o (Should is a preference)

2) Catch yourself demanding submission for the sake of efficiency
o (Its more productive to secure cooperation.)

3) Catch yourself trying to please others.
o (You don’t know how they want to be pleased)

4) Catch yourself trying not to displease.
o (Live on your own terms)

5) Catch yourself assuming more responsibility then the situation demands.
o (Allow others to be responsible for themselves)

6) Catch yourself protecting others from the consequence of their own behavior.
o (They did not ask for your help)

7) Catch yourself trying to prevent disaster.
o (Live in the present, you cannot predict the future)

8) Catch yourself having (perfectionism) high standards for self/others.
o (You don’t really know what’s best)

9) Catch yourself trying to prove your worth to others.
o (Self worth comes from within)

Remember that everyone gets rejected sometimes. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a few times to get it right. Successful people are rejected over and over, but never stop trying. When you’re rejected or something doesn’t go your way, propose a new solution. Often, the person declining your offer is not rejecting you. He may even want to hear another idea. Successful individuals come back from rejection with new proposals. They’re creative at coming up with additional ways of looking at things and solving problems.

Hippopotamus image available from Shutterstock.

 


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    Last reviewed: 24 Dec 2013

APA Reference
Karmin, A. (2013). Are You Thick Skinned?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 25, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/anger/2013/12/are-you-thick-skinned/

 

 

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