Blame

A Material World: Impulse Control and Self-Regulation

Before this age of instant gratification, people grew up in conditions where some level of hardship was the norm. Thrift was an essential part of middle class life and the things you longed for did not appear instantly and often had to be earned. As a result, we had much more value and appreciation for what we had, rather than focusing i=in what we lack. There was a sense of pride in mastery and achievement in having worked one’s way to a goal, in having had the experience of some responsibility and power in achievement.

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Relationships

Seeking Approval: Trying to Do It All

We talk too much, we think too much, we worry too much, we blame too much, we anticipate too much, we calculate too much. The antidote to all of these excessive, useless mental gymnastics is to do something in reality. There are no such "have to's". It is a mistake to define our self worth in terms of how much we accomplish and how well we do it. This implies that if we do not perform the task well enough or fast enough, we are worthless, there is no middle ground.

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Anger

Fixing Problems: Are You Excessively Responsible?

What is preventing us from taking our lives one day at a time?

Simply put, we do not respect ourselves. As a consequence of our lack of self-acceptance, we do not trust our judgment; we do not trust our decision making skills to deal with life as it comes. Our perception of life as unpredictable, scary and dangerous has made us feel insecure. Our insecurity is painful. We seek relief from the pain our insecurity with expectations, but we cannot predict the future, there are no road maps, no fortune telling.

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Stress

Anxiety: The Loss of Control

Some people seem to exaggerate the importance of control. Without being aware of it, they spend an excessive amount of time and energy trying to control their children, their spouses, their employees, and every relationship in their lives. Other people aren't so up-tight. They seem to be more easy going, and they seem carefree and get more done. How do we account for the difference between those who seek to plan, prevent and those who trust their judgment to solve problems as they unfold?

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Stress

Workplace Stress and Deep Relaxation

We hear a lot about stress, but what is it? Stress is the result of any emotional, physical, social, or economic factor, which requires a response or change. Work plays an important role in our lives and exerts a powerful influence on our well-being. Specifically, workplace stress is the combination of high demands in a job and a low amount of control over the situation.

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Anger

Why do People Blame, Criticize and Intimidate Me?

Antagonism is a term used to describe attention seeking in the form of blame, criticism and intimidation. Since the antagonist is seeking our attention, it is up to us to resolve the interaction effectively. This means that we must use our adult judgment to determine what the reality of the situation demands and then muster the courage to respond in the real world, instead of merely reacting.

One of purposes in antagonizing is to build yourself up...
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Anger

Guilt Trip: Denying Your Mistakes

We may describe Mark as irresponsible, lazy, rebellious or stubborn. He won’t cooperate with us in accomplishing the routine tasks of everyday life. To him, everything is “boring,” and he must escape from this “boredom” into “exciting” activity or useless time wasting. He says to himself, “I am exempt from the burdens and responsibilities of life because I am special, unique.”

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