Blame

Are Your Feelings Irrational?

Have you ever been surprised by the intensity of your feelings about something? Have you been caught off guard by someone else’s sudden and intense anger, or overwhelming sadness?

These responses may surprise you because humans tend to bury uncomfortable feelings. Many of us were told as children, that it’s not nice to feel certain things. We were taught to label some feelings as bad or negative states and hesitate to acknowledge them. Happy, grateful, sad, angry,...
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General

What are Your Priorities?

One day, an professor was speaking to a group of business students. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said,

"Okay, time for a quiz" and he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.

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Anger

Do You Get Defensive?

When we are angry, we are very vulnerable to being antagonized. Our logical thought processes have been swept away by a tide of emotional pain. We are, in this state, very likely to do exactly what our provokers expect us to do. They do not expect us to do anything reasonable or constructive. They expect us to be as immature and vindictive as they are. We 1) seek fairness: they say something hurtful and we say something more hurtful back or 2) offer evidence: pleading our case to defend ourselves against someone’s false accusations.

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Anger

Telling the Truth about Your Anger

When we tell someone that we are angry, what do we suppose will happen? Will they kiss us on the cheek? Will they say, "Thank you for calling this to my attention?" Probably not. They will probably lash out with something hurtful to throw us off balance, to exonerate themselves at our expense. This is their way of solving the problem we have just created for them. They do not know how to solve anger problems, so they try to invalidate and minimize the whole thing out of existence. That way, they won't have to solve it.

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