Do You Get Defensive?

By Aaron Karmin • 3 min read

defensiveWhen we are angry, we are very vulnerable to being antagonized. Our logical thought processes have been swept away by a tide of emotional pain. We are, in this state, very likely to do exactly what our provokers expect us to do. They do not expect us to do anything reasonable or constructive. They expect us to be as immature and vindictive as they are. We 1) seek fairness: they say something hurtful and we say something more hurtful back or 2) offer evidence: pleading our case to defend ourselves against someone’s false accusations.

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Telling the Truth about Your Anger

By Aaron Karmin • 2 min read

couple240When we tell someone that we are angry, what do we suppose will happen? Will they kiss us on the cheek? Will they say, “Thank you for calling this to my attention?” Probably not. They will probably lash out with something hurtful to throw us off balance, to exonerate themselves at our expense. This is their way of solving the problem we have just created for them. They do not know how to solve anger problems, so they try to invalidate and minimize the whole thing out of existence. That way, they won’t have to solve it.

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Negative Thoughts and Positive Alternatives

By Aaron Karmin • 1 min read

shutterstock_177110963Affirmations may sound (and feel) a little stiff and unnatural at first, but don’t worry — they work anyway. Once you get the feel of affirmations, relax and develop your own style.

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Building Confidence: Changing Your Thinking

By Aaron Karmin • 2 min read

shutterstock_227940937Changing your thinking habits can make many things less disagreeable. If you don’t like your job, for example, you may habitually think about what a chore it is, how much you hate it, and how much you’d rather do something else for a living. You may think negative thoughts about your job from the time you get up to go to work until you get home, and this may keep you miserable all day long.

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Does Suffering Make You Stronger?

By Aaron Karmin • 2 min read

shutterstock_219197944We are surrounded by material things designed to give us the good life, a life of pleasure. We have medications to relieve the suffering of our aches and pains. It is ironic that we still find ways to suffer, to hide from the possibility of happiness.

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Suffering from Too Much Happiness?

By Aaron Karmin • 2 min read

shutterstock_139106996Alison had a recurring pattern of self-sabotage. She would say or do the “wrong thing” and turn people who liked her against her. She would make and lose friends regularly. Some of her self-sabotages were spectacular!

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Should Unmarried Couples Seek Counseling?

By Aaron Karmin • 2 min read

shutterstock_2358659201. Many psychological professionals advocate marriage counseling. Should unmarried couples seek counseling as well? If so, why?

Here are five reasons to why unmarried couples should seek counseling:

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Long Distance Love: Growing Together, Rather than Apart.

By Aaron Karmin • 2 min read

1. Do you have any advice for couples looking to ensure they grow together, rather than apart?

Connecting with your partner has one variable that is not found in any other relationship, romance. Romance involves the expression of sincere loving feelings and is the fuel that feeds the connection in our love life.

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Is Couples Counseling a Quick Fix?

By Aaron Karmin • 1 min read

clock2401.Is couples counseling a “quick fix” or a long-term commitment?

Counseling doesn’t need to be a long process, especially if you feel you’re starting out with a very solid foundation and only need some clarifications and goal-setting. For some people who are a “higher conflict” couple or have deeper issues to contend with, the process could take a bit longer.

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When to Seek Couples Counseling?

By Aaron Karmin • 3 min read

couples2401.How do you combat the stigma of couples counseling?

I always find it helpful to educate couple that pursuing counseling is not a sign of weakness or failure. The stigma of therapy has diminished across generations, but seeking counseling is still mentioned in whispers. All humans struggle with their feelings and can benefit from psychological guidance.

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Recent Comments
  • Becky: That’s a really helpful article. Thanks. I’ll use that next time.
  • Divorced Kat: Great article. I love the point that we are responsible for our own self love and respect.
  • Jacinda Rudd: To be perfectly unconcerned about what other people think of you is ideal, but I think we have to give...
  • Aniket: Hi Aaron, Very nice article. I agree with you in all the points. We all are in pain and we all are insecure...
  • Sheila A: Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!! This really speaks to what I have been experiencing lately. Did I say...
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