Diabetes Ursurped Mental Illness This Week
As I write this, I’m totally exhausted. I’m fighting the good fight but I want to take a week-long nap. See, I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I think if you’re going to write about the Christian walk and coping with emotional problems, you should follow through in your own life. I get fed up with people who give advice that they don’t follow, and I don’t want to be one of them. Mental illness isn’t my only problem – I’m also diabetic and, you know, I just don’t want die before I turn 40 or live the rest of my life without both legs if I have any say in it, so I’m exercising, eating right, trying to lose weight, and get semi-regular sleep. (REGULAR sleep? Let’s not overshoot our goals!)
It’s not that I just don’t want to be a hypocrite, either. I also feel terrible. Like crap, actually. I’m tired of feeling like crap! I should have arrived at this conclusion many moons ago, but I’m stubborn. I don’t enjoy exercise and I love food. (If you want proof, you can check out my Youtube video.) It’s strange – I’ve never been in denial about my bipolar disorder, but I’ve been in denial about my diabetes for a long time, even as I shot insulin into my belly.
When my sugar is high, I don’t usually feel it. I know that my general “crap” feeling comes from that, but it’s not like I am suddenly overcome with agonizing pain or black out when my sugar goes up. But when it goes down, boy, I feel it. I have had a hypoglycemia attack the past two days in a row. I feel tingly; then my heart starts to race; then I feel like I’m so hungry I could eat the cat, the living room furniture, the TV, AND everything in the fridge; and then I start to sweat. It’s so gross. The sweat pours out of my body and I look like I just took a shower with my clothes on. After I’ve eaten everything that’s not nailed down, I collapse and sleep. That’s what I did this afternoon.
I had a topic all picked out for today, but I sat down and tried to make sense of the accompanying article and I couldn’t do it. This must be what it’s like to have someone sit on your brain. I’m too tired and frustrated to say anything valuable to you today, I’m sorry. I would so appreciate your prayers. Hopefully I’ll be able to pull it together tomorrow!
Blood sugar measurement photo available from Shutterstock
Fidler, J. (2013). Diabetes Ursurped Mental Illness This Week. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 27, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/amazed-by-grace/2013/03/27/diabetes-ursurped-mental-illness-this-week/