I’m taking a break from talking about mental illness, but I’ll be back to it soon!

I’ve been in a good, committed love relationship for a while now, and though I’ve also been happy during my single periods, being half of a couple makes me feel especially good in so many ways.

This weekend, I recalled the following reply from a happily married man when he was asked what was great about being married (though I can’t recall what book it came from):

The best thing about having a partner is that I don’t have to reinvent myself every morning.

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In A Good Relationship, Partners Provide Mirroring

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  1. Knowing in general what the theory of “mirroring” means, it never occurred to me before to place it in the category of one of the benefits of a good marriage. It always seems that we are constantly on the lookout for the fore-warnings of where our marriage might take a turn for the worse that we miss these subtle yet vital pieces of a good marriage that make all the difference and which we live for on a daily basis, making it all worthwhile.

  2. What happens when our Mirror becomes clouded ? What if our Mirror takes us down the wrong path towards our reflection ? I don’t know if am seeing more into this then others but I feel that I have to be careful how I nurture my soul mate for fear of waking them to see the real them or even the real us. When does doing the Good for others, like our soul mate, become more of a hindrance then a benefit? I, for one, know that Love hurts, it always does but that doesn’t mean I should stop loving another, do we ourselves tend to path rocks in our path to slow us down? Any ideas or thoughts, please speak up, thanks.

    • I think I hear you saying that sometimes we can invest so much in a relationship that we lose our sense of reality or of what is healthy for us. Yes, this can certainly happen. You may want to read my posts about fantasy, pain, distorted love and suffering. Love isn’t supposed to hurt!

  3. This is why communication is vital in a relationship! If you feel that the mirror is getting clouded then its time to point it out to ur soul mate and start to clean it up. Your soul mate, if they TRULY are that, should understand and help with that clouding. They should want to see there true self or that of the relationship. Both should be willing to learn new things and take it in, meditate on it and apply it to the relationship. There is NEVER to much love, NEVER!

  4. My husband and I were and will always be soulmates. We knew it from the moment we set eyes on each other and we both felt as though we were looking through each others eyes and into each other’s spirit. We felt we found that missing part of us that made us each complete. As my husband said, it felt like meeting up with an intimate friend after being apart for a long time; someone we knew everything about already. We had so much to catch up on.

    We mirror each other to the point of finishing each other’s sentences, thinking the same thing at the same time, and oddly getting busy signals frequently when we call each other at the same time. Like Ying & Yang, there was so much we had in common, yet the distinct differnces fit togther like two finely mitered pieces of wood. Thirty years later our love continues to grow. We are one and it’s been years since our last fight. We have been to hell and back, with each adversity, loss, trauma pulling us closer together. When one or the other is weak or down, the other picks up and offers strenght. We balance each other.

    I know it sounds corney, but on our wedding day we took two candles and lit one, extinguishing the others. One flame, one heart, one life.

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