I’ve been a tutor for 40 years, and I’ve never encountered a lazy student.

Scratch the surface of laziness and underneath you’ll find fear, confusion, frustration, lack of knowledge, lack of skills, anger, sadness…

And, often, just plain exhaustion.

Willpower is a limited resource, and the demands of the school day can drain a student of her ability to attend and persevere.

[I've been devoting my Friday blog posts to the topic of Learning What We Already Know. There's a ton of wisdom out there in the world, and lots of it has been known for quite a long time but it needs to be passed along.]

The wisdom of Dr. Haim Ginott has had a huge impact on my life, ever since I read his classics: Between Parent and Child and Between Parent and Teenager.

I’m going to devote my Friday blog posts to the topic of Learning What We Already Know. There’s a ton of wisdom out there in the world, and lots of it has been known for quite a long time but it needs to be passed along.

November is a special month for me, because both of my parents happened to have been born in, and passed away in, the month of November.

My mom and I loved each other very much. We also had a very stormy relationship which was especially turbulent and painful when I was a teenager.

[I'm devoting my Monday blog posts to the topic of Learners with Special Needs, which, I find, describes us all in some way or another.] 

Here’s a thought for students with executive function issues, and for anybody trying to get some studying done:

I’m a nerdy person and I study all the time, and pretty much everywhere. My favorite study locations are my dining room table, my coffee table, and any public library.

I also do just fine in coffee shops, on the train, in waiting rooms, in the car (reading while parked, or lectures-on-CD while driving), on the beach (I have been known to bring a textbook to the beach, yes), and while watching a less-than-enthralling movie on TV (I’ll browse a book during the dull parts).

I even watch Khan Academy videos in the kitchen while doing dishes; I set up my laptop on the counter and try not to splash.

The ONE place I don’t study?  My bedroom. Why? Because I go in there and open a book and fall asleep!

I’m going to try devoting my Friday blog posts to the topic of Learning What We Already Know. There’s a ton of wisdom out there in the world, and lots of it has been known for quite a long time but it needs to be passed along.

Today I’m revisiting an oldie but goodie, Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, published in 1974. Yes, the title screams 70s (do we speak in terms of “liberating” anyone anymore?), but the concepts are profound and eternal.

I’m going to try devoting my Thursday blog posts to the topic of All Things Academic: reading, writing, ‘rithmetic and the other school subjects.

A home school mom of four writes:

The learning material that I struggle with is just that: motivation verses memorization. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around alternative methods to memorizing times tables and science facts and history dates. It just seems like there should be better ways to learn/teach.

Kids (and all people) learn best when information is relevant and interesting. Random facts that don’t connect with anything the student finds familiar or meaningful are tedious to memorize and soon forgotten.

I just finished doing a talk at one of my local libraries, called Tons of Tips to Help Your Child Learn Better!

My favorite tip is the simplest: HELP THEM.

It’s pretty amazing how parents hesitate to just sit down next to their child and offer some basic assistance. It’s usually for one of two reasons:

I’m preparing to give a talk entitled Tons of Tips to Help Your Child Learn Better!
Here are five of my favorites:

1. Read to them. Kids of all ages love to be read to.  I even read to my SAT-prep students (11th graders!). I read them practice SAT passages and have them follow along with their eyes; this lets them hear what the passage is supposed to sound like and how to pronounce unfamiliar vocab words. Then we talk about the passage and make sure they understand it. I also often read to kids who get bogged down by their history or science texts. Often we take turns reading sections to one another. It moves them through the material, makes the content come alive and helps it make more sense.
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A dear family member teases me all the time about my coffee-drinking habit…and I know that person is smiling while reading this.

Here’s what happens:

1. As soon as I wake up I crawl toward that first cup of java. I can’t function without it!
2. Then, because the first felt soooo good, I down a second cup.
3. And then I am AWAKE!!! And all revved up! And I get going on a bunch of projects and thoughts and errands, all at once…
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Lots of folks seemed to like my first five tips, so here are five more!

1. Avoid opening a can of worms. The act of helping can set off all sorts of power and control dynamics. Sometimes it’s more genuinely helpful to farm the task out to someone neutral. It’s one main reason parents use tutors like me; I’m a third party who can get their kid to do his homework without the power struggles.
2. Now’s not the time to teach a lesson. It’s tempting (especially if you are a parent or a spouse) to seize upon your loved one’s problem as an opportunity to drive your point home and (finally!) get them to shape up in some way. I keep in mind the words of Dr. Haim Ginott: When a person is drowning is not the time to teach him to swim. In a crisis, what is needed is rescue and comfort, not lessons or advice. There’s time for that later.
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