I think of myself as a calm, stable, cheery, even-tempered person.

Which doesn’t mean I don’t get into bad moods. I do. I know this because the people who love tell me so.

Their personal styles differ and so their queries range from the gentle Are you feeling tired? to the in-my-face Why are you so weird today?

I’m learning to resist the natural urge to protest…I’m fine! Nothing’s wrong! Stop bugging me!…and instead take some processing time to get in touch with what they are observing in me.

My kids. My partner.

• They know me really, really well
• They love me and care about me
• I trust them
• They see me from the outside, looking in
• whereas I see myself from the inside, looking out

Therefore, their perspectives on me are valuable, and I should pay attention to them.

And so now, every time I catch myself protesting about some comment, I work hard to instead listen and absorb and reflect.

It’s been humbling and difficult, but also amazingly helpful.

It is so reassuring to face my imperfections and realize that:

• they’re not usually as bad as I feared, and
• the people who love me see those flaws and love me anyway

(photo of ever-deepening snow; my picnic table is under there somewhere!)

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    Last reviewed: 29 Jul 2011