He made the bed, picked up the living room, gathered laundry…scooped the cat box…neatened up the kitchen…started the dishwasher…
And all the while, there I was, still in pajamas, drinking coffee, eating breakfast, head down over my computer.
In my workshops, we are practicing tuning in to the statements we make to our loved ones, and applying these guidelines:
It doesn’t work well to feed someone ready-made positive messages. Telling your loved one over and over You are great! You are the best! You are a winner! might sound like the obvious way to build self-esteem (just drum the thoughts into their skull!) But your loved one needs to build the messages himself in order for them to stick.
Yesterday, several of my students took the October SAT exam. It’s a long and challenging test, and we all worked hard to prepare for it.
One of my SAT mantras is this: The easy questions are worth just as much as the hard questions.
And it’s true. On the SAT, every question is worth exactly one point: the easy ones, the medium ones, and the super-toughies. They’re not equal in effort, but they are equal in value!
I repeat this fact to my students many times, because it’s counter-intuitive. Surely ultra-easy math Question #1 isn’t worth as much as crazy-hard Question #20? But, yes, it is!
Terrible timing, right?
To me, the atmosphere feels perfect. I feel released from the usual burden of self-doubt and potential proof-of-inadequacy.