Commencement Day at Yale begins with a huge ceremony in the courtyard of Old Campus. All the graduates from all the schools (graduate and undergrad) plus all the parents and guests congregate to hear speeches and see awards handed out.

Then, everyone disperses to their respective schools to receive diplomas. The undergrads and their families go to whichever of the twelve residential colleges they’ve been members of for their four years at Yale. Hannah belonged to Trumbull College.

The custom is for each Trumbull grad to write a short (30-word or less) blurb, which is read by the House Master as the graduate walks up and receives their diploma.

Now, Hannah has a life-long reputation for outspokenness and irreverence (I affectionately refer to her blog as SnarkCentral), and so all of her friends and family fully expected her to pen something sassy and outrageous.

And Hannah didn’t disappoint. Here are the words to which she accepted her diploma:

To quote the classic musical Avenue Q, “what do you do with a  BA in English?” The answer, of course, is “hang your diploma on the wall to make non-Yale graduates feel inferior.” I would like to thank my family and friends, not because any of them have been particularly helpful, but because it feels like the thing to do.

Lots of laughter and a few shocked gasps emanated from the audience, and several of us stood up and whooped. That’s my daughter! I announced to everyone around me. Indeed it was. Quintessential Hannah.

And, as much as Hannah’s message was tongue-in-cheek, I do take it seriously and I always have.

I believe that we tend to point the finger of blame at parents too often.

And I also reject the notion that parents own their children’s achievements.

Hannah and I still remember standing together in a classroom doorway at her high school. Her Yale acceptance was big news on campus, and an excited mom ran up and exclaimed to me Oh, how wonderful! How did you do it?

I could feel Hannah fuming next to me, as I said what I always say: Hannah did it all. It was her goal, she did the work, and she deserves all the credit.

I really mean this.

Hannah decided on her own, at age eleven, that she wanted to go to Yale. And she proceeded to do everything necessary to realize her goal. She pushed herself, she studied; she pulled straight As and perfect SAT scores, because she chose to do so.

Meanwhile, I’ve enjoyed a big free ride on the Parent Admiration Train.

I am achingly proud of both of my children; impressed with their intellects and achievements and honored to know them.

And I find it freeing and optimistic and wondrous, every time I consider that they really do own their own lives and their own successes.

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (June 5, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 5 Jun 2010