[On Mondays (Luna's Day) we've been sharing insights about animals and their value and meaning in our lives.

I recall the last weeks of my father's life, especially the day that my brother brought Moose, his enormous, gentle Rhodesian Ridgeback, to the hospice.

Every resident wanted to touch and pat Moose, who patiently made his rounds and gave everyone a generous turn.

The synergy between each dying human being and this warm, friendly dog was magical; the whole building seemed to glow with a quiet contentment and appreciation for these moments of aliveness.

So, I am especially delighted and moved that my friend Joan agreed to write this two-part post about her work with therapy animals. - LPC]

In my experience, animals provide invaluable benefits to humans both as pets and service animals. The National Pet Owners Survey of 2007-2008 found that about 71.1 million people in the United States are pet owners, owning at least one dog or one cat.  Most pets provide unconditional acceptance to family members.

There are many health benefits to interacting with animals.

Should You Leave? by Peter Kramer, is full of relationship insights.

I love his tale of Guy and Lena (p. 73)

Guy seeks advice because he’s been involved with Lena for two years, and it’s time to either move forward with the relationship, or end it.

Should he leave?

Guy has a history of bailing out on one relationship after another. He always manages to find reasons why each woman isn’t “right” for him.

The wrong woman, an inner voice has always told you…On good days, you find Lena intensely desirable – far above you…Mostly what is wrong with Lena is that she is not intellectual, though she is smart…You carp at her for her passivity and her complaisance…She wants to shop for overstuffed furniture, when you value an ascetic look…You feel the pressure of age; you want to be with the right woman, the one you will marry…

Guy is full of reasons why Lena is wrong for him, why every woman is wrong…

I never finish reading Peter Kramer’s book Should You Leave?

It’s so full of insights and provocative ideas, I keep picking it up and looking at sections again and again.

Here’s a paragraph that fascinates me:

It often seems that I could fill a practice with cases of falling out of love, so common is the complaint. The usual scenario is this: A young couple is well into the phase of family formation – though it is only from a distance that the family formation appears long-standing. The two have recently had their second child, and to one spouse – it could be either, but I shall choose the husband – this state represents the start of family life.

Until that point, the husband experienced himself as single, a wife and first child being elegant accoutrements to psychological bachelorhood.

With the birth of the second child, he discovers that he is permanently a husband and father. And then one day he comes home and announces he is out of love and leaving forever. (p 161)

I’m especially fixated on Kramer’s term, psychological bachelorhood.

Why do they have these timed tests, like 25 problems in 3 minutes?

This is an excellent question.

I currently work and have worked with quite a few students who receive extra time on standardized tests, and I know for a fact that colleges do not factor this into their decision.

Meaning, if we have two absolutely identical students A and B, and A scores a 2100 out of 2400 with regular constraints while B scores a 2200 with double the time, B gets in and A doesn’t.

So, first, does time really matter? And second, if it does, why does time matter?

My sister has argued that students should not freely be given extra time. I think my hypothetical identical students identified this problem. Her basic point is that in the real world (or a college environment), speed and time are factors. Take two engineers applying for a job: it’s obvious that the guy who’s faster at math has a practical advantage.

Yet, I’ve worked with students who just need more time, and for each of them, I’m so glad that they get the opportunity to let their true intellectual power show.

Here’s a great question from Wanda:

When I was in grade school, I could not do well on timed math tests, even the basic add/subtract/multiply/divide tests. If I could do it on my own time, I did well.

Now my grandson has the same problem. When we do the flashcards, he can do them very fast but we make it fun also.

Why do they have these timed tests, like 25 problems in 3 minutes?

How can I help him do better?

There’s a wide variation in how people learn math, and in what math-related skills they are stronger or weaker in.

On Mondays (Luna’s Day) we’ve been talking about animals and their special place in our lives.

This weekend we took Malcolm, my oldest cat, to the beach with us.

18 years old and multiply disabled, Malcolm retains every bit of his intrepid personality. He loves adventure, loves people, is used to car rides and understands how vacations work (anywhere your family and food dish are, is “home”).

Malcolm’s not that much younger than my children. He truly feels like, as well as acts like, a member of the family.

How would you describe what a good relationship feels like?

I have the image of two rivers joining and flowing into one another, their currents melding into a powerful, moving, living force.

And my experience of relationship struggle has felt like a clash of forces, of me trying to swim upstream against the current of my partner’s opposition.

Often I’ve felt as if it was a battle between his needs and mine, with not enough time or energy to go around to satisfy us both.

We usually teach multiplication in second grade, but many kindergartners are able to solve multiplication problems by using repeated addition.

There were five boxes and each box had three chocolate bars, how many chocolate bars in all?

Adults would say 5 x 3 = 15, but many young kids will do 3 + 3 + 3 + 3 + 3 = 15. They’ll get the correct answer and their logic is sound.

But at some point most people’s brains make a transition from repeated addition to “multiplicative thinking.” The brain now treats multiplication as a simultaneous operation and not as a string of additions.