It is one of my long-standing private theories that good-looking people are, on average, less mature when it comes to romantic relationships.

I’m sure I formed this impression beginning way back in early adolescence as I observed the behaviors of my friends and classmates.

And I then felt it reinforced during the decade in which I was a professional matchmaker and dating-service owner.

My sense is that Beautiful People have more relationship options, and therefore less incentive to work hard to make any individual relationship work.

The result, over time, is that they tend to rack up lots of relationships, but they don’t hang in there long enough to grow or mature from any one experience. It’s too easy for them to cut and run to the next tempting possibility, without having to face the challenges of self-reflection or personal change.

I recalled my theory as I read a good article, “The Expectations Trap” in this month’s Psychology Today:

Unfortunately, says Marin family therapist and PT blogger Susan Pease Gadoua, not enough people today are willing to do the hard work of becoming a more mature person. “They think they have a lot more choices. And they think life will be easier in another relationship. What they don’t realize is that it will be the same relationship — just with a different name.”

I feel this is true in general. Single people now have more options than ever before, but often this leads to a callous, shopping list mentality when it comes to dating.

And I do believe that many relationships are discarded prematurely, without the partners investing enough patience and effort into making them work.

I don’t remember which chick lit novel this wonderful line comes from:

Having a good-looking boyfriend is like owning a white sofa; it’s a great thing to have, but you’ve always got to worry about it.

What do you think?

Are good looks (or other assets such as wealth or fame) actually a handicap when it comes to relationship growth and maturity?

photo taken at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (April 7, 2010)

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (April 7, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 6 Apr 2010